Farwell 2014: Thanks for All the Memories

Today I was looking back on my journal entry from this time last year and remembering how hopeful and excited I was for 2014. One of the lines I wrote was “Jill is going to shine in 2014” and you know what I feel like I did.  2014 was an amazing year for me.  Over the last twelve months I found the ability to focus on my goals, a greater sense of confidence in myself and even more peace with my life.  It was a year that surprised me in many ways and also taught me many things.  I feel blessed and changed for all that I experienced this year.  So as I count down the hours until I say goodbye to 2014 and hello to 2015 I figured I should do one last look back at the resolutions I made for 2014 and the new ones I will take forward with me for 2015.

For a look back on my entry at the start of 2014 you can check it out here:
New Year’s Resolutions Past and Present

1) Move More/Lose More
Of all my 2014 resolutions this one is the one that I am the most proud of.  Without a shadow of a doubt I can claim success of this goal.  Actually the sad fact is I was so successful adding movement into my life that this also became one of my excuses why the other goals didn’t get completed as well.  Hehehe.  Not only have I seen my daily Fitbit step totals rise (I am regularly achieving between 11000-13000 steps each day) but I have also taken on many new challenges.  The biggest of course was signing up and completing my first 5K walk.  I also got over some of my fears and misgivings when it came to training and signed up with a personal trainer to help continue to push me along with this resolution.  In terms of my weight loss I didn‘t lose as much as I had hoped but I did manage to lose 23.2 pounds this year bringing my overall weight loss total to 31.1 from my highest weight.  I‘m very proud of this and am beyond excited by the fact that I was finally able to get below the weight I was when Will passed away.  It helped me to feel like I really am moving forward and starting to live the life I know he always wanted me to have.

I am amazed all the time when I look back at where I was at the start of the year to where I am now.  I am doing things I only vaguely hoped for and even things that I didn‘t know to hope for.  This resolution did have a little surprise for me though.  Going into this goal I knew that I would find success when it came to my weight loss.  I also knew that there was no reason I couldn’t move more.  What surprised me though was how much this resolution actually had an effect on my confidence.  Every challenge I took on and every time I lift a stronger weight at the gym I get this huge rush of knowing that I am capable of doing anything.  This goal has allowed me to prove to myself that I am able to do anything.  It has also shown me just how determined I can be when I really believe in something.  I am changed as a person for taking this resolution on.

2) One Day a Week Vegetarian
This resolution was and is mostly a success.  I don’t have a set day that I am all vegetarian but I do eat a lot more variety when it comes to my diet especially when it comes to my proteins.  I have discovered that I love the flavour that comes with a lot of my vegetarian dishes.  I have also been trying to incorporate more vegetables into my everyday diet.  I never knew just how much I really do love veggies until I started this challenge.  Besides just adding more veggies to my diet it has also been interesting to try different forms of protein, grains and other foods I probably never would have tried had it not been for this goal.  A few of my new favourite foods that I wouldn’t have tried include lentils, quinoa and spinach.  This resolution has very much turned into a lifestyle.  I will never become a full vegetarian but I will for sure continue to make many vegetarian meals and continue to have meat free days play a role in my life.

3) Regular Blog Posts
This resolution was pretty much a failure especially when you consider my last entry was back in September after my 5K.  I did have moments of success where I had a purpose and was able to write regularly but I found it hard to maintain.  This is where I blame my first resolution.  Working out regularly has taken a huge toll on the amount of free time I have in my day.  Writing has slipped a bit to the back burner.  I am still writing but it is finding the time to finish the blogs I start and get them ready to be put up that I am struggling with.  That being said I am starting to realize the importance and power that could come from my blog.  This year I have learned the importance of finding people to support you in your goals and it is my hope that my blog can grow into something that will allow my friends the chance to be a part of my journey even if they can‘t physically be with me on all parts of it.  I also hope that it can become a source of inspiration to help my friends find support for their own journeys.

4) 365 Photo-a-Day Project
As much as I love this project and think the one I did for 2013 is still one my favourite scrapbooks, I didn’t manage to pull it off for 2014.  I think the biggest hurdle was the fact I wasn’t printing the pages as I went.  I had a lot of great things happen in 2014 but without the effort of scrapbooking them regularly I lost motivation and focus on this.  As October came I found that it was a huge struggle to remember to take the photos and I was feeling the fatigue of trying to come up with new things to take pictures of.  I love how much I have learned from even attempting this challenge though.  It has taught me to find beauty and gratitude in even the smallest parts of my life.  It has also helped me to capture moments that I might never have before.  Although I didn’t complete this challenge I do plan on continuing to take lots of pictures and continue to try and capture all the little and big moments that happen in my life.  The pictures help to keep the memories and moments alive.  I love looking back on all the moments I have captured so even if I failed this resolution I still feel like I found at least some success in it.

5) Read 50 Books
I came close to completing this goal but again fell shy this year.  I managed to read 42 books this year which is 14 more than I read in 2013.  I can’t feel bad about that.  I read some pretty great books this year, rediscovered an old favourite author (R L Stine) and even discovered a new favourite author (John Green).  All things considering I think that it was a pretty great year for reading in my world.  The coolest part of this resolution was the fact that all the reading helped rekindle my love of fiction and desire to create stories. 

Of the 42 books that I read this year there are a couple that stand out as being favourites.  They are all different and became favourites for different reasons but for those of you who are curious here are my top picks in no particular order:

                The Fault in Our Stars by John Green

                As You Wish by Cary Elwes

                The Nerdist Way: How to Reach the Next Level (in Real Life) by Chris Hardwick

                Ashfall by Mike Mullin

                Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer

 

6) Nanowrimo challenge Complete a Draft of Conor’s Story

Like my blog writing this challenge was not completed.  I did spend a good deal of time both researching and working on this story but I’m starting to realize the challenge that comes with wanting to write historical fiction.  I love the story that I’m trying to create but there is a lot of stuff that I really had no clue about that I need to know in order to help make it believable.  Who knew I didn’t know much about being an orphan boy going off to war ;-)  I have made a good deal of progress on this story though so I’m still happy with how this resolution came along.  I will continue to plod away to try and bring the story that is running through my imagination out into a form that everyone can enjoy.

 

After 2014 and learning just how important having goals really is for me I would be remiss if I didn’t set out some new resolutions for 2015.  I have been thinking a lot about it the last few weeks because I want to know when I look back at the end of the year that I am able to be successful.  The perfectionist in me wants to set a goal and be able to check it off a list but one of the other things I learned this year is that it is okay not to reach a goal as long as you keep pushing for it and can walk away after and say that I have done my best.  So with all of that in mind I have tried to pick resolutions that will challenge me to push myself but will also hopefully allow me to find an even greater sense of success at the end of 2015.  It will not be surprising to see that my overall goals haven’t changed but I have added a few layers to the goals that will hopefully help me build to the big overall resolutions.  So here they are my resolutions for 2015.

 

1) Move More, Lose More

                Mini Goals: Run a 5K, Repeat the Terry Fox Run with a quicker time
2) Set aside dedicated time for writing once a week
                Mini Goals: Regular blog posts, continuing work on Conor‘s story, tackling Nanowrimo
3) Read 50 Books
4) Eat Cleaner and Less Processed Foods
                Mini Goals: Eating out no more than once a week, creating weekly meal plans, batch cooking on weekends

Once again I find myself excited as I look towards next year.  I am finally learning to feel comfortable in my skin and I expect next year will continue to see me grow and learn how to get the most out of my life.  I look forward to celebrating as I complete at least two more 5Ks and look forward to doing some real travelling because it has been far too long since I took a major trip.  This year was amazing and I only expect that it will continue to get better.

So as we all get prepared to celebrate the end of the year I want to wish everyone a very Happy New Year.  I hope that 2014 was good to you and that 2015 will help you all get a little closer to your dreams.

Anything is Possible…

…with a dream, hard work, and the support of your loved ones.

It seems like a long time ago now when I first mentioned to a friend the idea of signing up to run a 5K.  She didn’t laugh or say why not try walking one first but instead told me she thought it was a great idea and that she would join me.  Now 6 months later and with her beside me I finished my very first 5K yesterday.  This entry is all about my run and dedicated to everyone who has loved, supported and cheered me on.  I’m honoured and humbled by all that you bring into my life.

Yesterday I did something that I didn’t truly believe was possible even though I had already proved to myself that I could walk 5k over and over.  Yesterday I not only participated in the Terry Fox run but I also jogged chunks of it.  I wasn’t the fastest (which I knew I wasn’t going to be) but it didn’t matter in the slightest.  All that mattered was that I finished and I finished strong. 

 

Doing the 5K wasn’t as easy as I thought it was going to be even as prepared as I was.  I had moments of real struggle like when I got a stitch in my side or when just as I was about to start running to the finish line my back felt so tight that I had to stop and stretch it out before I could run again.  I also quickly realized as much as I have worked on the voice in my head that it still speaks up with doubt when I’m doing something challenging.  It popped up right after I had done my first run interval and started to remind me of how much harder this was than running on the treadmill and telling me that there was no way I would be able to keep doing it.  Luckily I had two great partners beside me to talk and distract me from that voice and reassuring me that I can do this.  By the time I finished my second run interval that doubt was forgotten and determination took over.

In spite of the challenges something I’m very proud of is the fact that I was able to keep my smile and positive attitude the whole time.  I even managed to keep laughing and joking of course some of that was probably just nervous energy.  I wasn’t sure that I was going to be able to maintain my mood before I started.  In fact I had previously warned my friend that I would probably be tired and cranky by the end of everything.  What I was counting on was how truly amazing it felt to be out doing this run for cancer research with about 1500 other people.  The crowd was enthusiastic and excited.  It was hard not to be positive and smiling.  

 

Nearing the end but still smiling and still moving!

The last kilometer was the probably the hardest for me because although I knew I could finish my body was starting to feeling the strain of my weight and previous four kilometers.  I was tired and just waiting for the end.  It felt so close and so far all at the same time.  I just kept putting one foot in front of the other though and kept moving towards the end.

As we reach the final few meters my lower back was incredibly tight and sore but I was determined to run across the finish line.  So I quickly stopped to stretch my back out a bit and then my friend beside me we jogged to the end and across that finish line.  What amazed me was the burst of energy I felt just before I was going to cross it.  I could feel my body push a little faster and I ran across it strong and smiling.  In that moment I didn’t even see the people around me or hear the cheers I just felt this huge rush go through my body.  It was exhilarating.  I have never been more proud of myself in that moment. It was such an accomplishment.  It has been a long time since I worked so diligently and hard towards a goal.  I most definitely will be doing this again.

Along with being proud of my run I am also proud of the amount of money my team and myself were able to raise for the cause.  My personal total raised was $540.  Along with that I take credit for the team fundraising events total of 375.85 which means I very nearly made my goal of $1000.  Overall as a team we managed to raise over $2300 (I’m not sure what the final total was as we had some last minute donations that didn’t get added in to our page).  I am so proud of the work we put in and the amount we pulled off especially since this was the first time I have ever really taken on something like this.  I am proud to be able to do a small part in the large battle against cancer.

Before I end this blog I want to take a few minutes to acknowledge some very special people.  I couldn’t have done this journey on my own and I think a great deal of thanks need to be shared. (Sorry I know it’s rather award show of me but I really couldn’t have done this on my own and I think recognition should always be shared.)

The first thank you has to go to my fellow Screening Sirens.  I put the idea out to all of you and you all blew me away with your willingness to sign on and jump in.  You have been there to help me with fundraising and to just be there so I knew I had a reason I couldn’t quit.  I loved being the captain of such a great group of positive people.  I look forward to doing it again with all of you.

Screening Sirens showing a little love

Second I need to thank all of my donors both my personal donors and the team donors.  It was an honour to be able to do this run on your behalf.  I hope that I have done you all proud.  It is because of you I feel I can say that this run was a success on all sides.  I have so much love and gratitude to all of you who were willing to support me with your donations.

Third to EVERYONE who has every cheered me on especially on Facebook.  You have kept me going on this journey even on the hardest days.  You shared your excitement and enthusiasm for what I was doing.  You filled my world with so much positivity it would have been impossible for me not to succeed.  You are family and friends from around the world and I shine because of you.

Last a very special thank you to Tina.  I want you to know how much your support has meant to me.  You inspire me to do more and keep reaching towards becoming the active person I know that I am inside.  You have taken the time to walk with me countless times over the last few months.  You have encouraged me and offered so much advice.  You have never once shown anything but positive energy towards me and my goals no matter how crazy they may seem.  Without fail you have kept my worst doubts at bay and shown me that I really can reach for things that seem out of reach.  Without you I don’t know that this run would have happened.  You moved my journey along by asking me to walk with you at lunches and promising that you would go at my pace.  I’m glad you were persistent and kept inviting me even when I kept coming up with excuses why I couldn’t.  I am forever grateful that I finally said yes and started walking and that you were still ready to go.  You were true to your word and stayed at my pace even though you are capable of going so much faster and it has meant the world to me.  It has been a privilege to do this run with you and I can’t wait for the day when I can say let’s go at your pace.

Tina and I hanging out before the run

We did it!

This journey has proved to myself that anything is possible if you set your mind to it.  I am a changed woman for having taken on this challenge.  I have found strength, pride, confidence, love, support and so much more.  All it took was a small idea, some blood, sweat & tears and a whole lot of belief in myself.  If I can do this I know that I can do anything.  Heck if I can do this anyone can do anything.  Impossible things happen every day we might as well make them happen for us.

Finding My Running Legs: Lessons Learned on Weight Loss

*Series in progress*  This entry is part of a series I’m writing leading up to my running (walking…but hopefully mostly running) my first 5K.  For more information on this series check out the introduction here or just continue on reading this entry.  I have also included links at the end to the other entries and to both the Terry Fox Foundation and my run fundraising page.

Today’s lesson is more of a mind shift than something concrete.  In the last 6 months as I have been training myself to learn how to run I began to realize that this journey I’m on that I have always thought of as a weight loss journey actually isn’t about weight loss.  As I have been working through this process what I have come to realize that well weight loss is great it is not the main thing that I count on anymore.  Watching a scale has never really been my thing but more and more I realize that what my journey needs to be and is becoming a journey to become healthy and to make the best choices for me and my overall health.  Weight loss plays a factor but there is so much more to it and honestly now it really just feels like the icing on the cake.

Over the last few years but most especially in the last 6 months I feel like my whole life has been changing for the better.  I am losing weight but I have gained so much more in my life than just seeing a number on a scale drop.  I feel like I’m learning how to figure out who I am and what I want in life.  I have discovered a whole list of new things that I love (including running) and discovered a lot of stuff that was getting in my way (especially a lot of emotional baggage).  When I take a snapshot of my life right now I see a whole new Jill standing in the picture.  She is more accepting, more conscious of what she is doing and she is happy.  She is driven and confident.  She is me and I am her.  I feel like I have finally found my groove. 

This maybe my shortest entry but it is still important.  I know that so many of us base our success on the number that comes up on the scale but trust me when I say that there is so many better ways to define success.  Look to other things like how you feel or doing something you have never done before or just making smarter choices as ways to find success.  Healthy is the goal we should all strive for and for me part of healthy does include weight loss but I know and trust that if I work towards healthy then the weight loss will follow as well.

To donate and check out my progress please visit my page here.

For more information on the Terry Fox Foundation and the run check out their page here.

Finding My Running Legs Previous Entries

• Introduction
• Importance of Goals
• Picking Goals
• Tracking Goals
• Celebrating
• My Changing Body
• Strength
• Mirrors