Disappointed - Next Year Will Be Different

This is not the blog entry I thought I would be writing tonight.  Today I went out to the Calgary Marathon with the plan and goal of completing my first 10km race.  I’m broken hearted and disappointed to say that it did not happen.  I’m still processing what happened and how it has left me feeling but I feel it’s still important to document the moment.  I would have written a blog entry if I had been successful so I should also write one even though I wasn’t.  I’ll apologize now if it’s not very coherent.  I’m still fighting back tears and my brain is still quite muddled.

There are probably a million little things that I could blame for my struggles with the race.  Things like the fact my legs were tired thanks to a fire alarm Friday which made me have to walk down from the 6^th floor or that I had to move the lawn on yesterday or maybe the fact that I had the joy of also dealing with cramps (sorry TMI).  Looking back on the race as short as it was for me, aside from the unplanned hiccups pre-race, I can see some very specific things that triggered me and set me off at the race to put me into the wrong headspace.   Without the right mindset everything seems impossible and that is in fact how I was feeling today.  Here is a list of the issues from today and how I can fix them for next time because there will be a next time.

The first of these triggers was the heat.  It was apparently about 17 degrees at the start of the race but the sun was beating down.  There was no shade and I could feel the heat radiating from my body even before we left.  I can’t change or predict the temperature of a race but I can continue to work on losing weight so hopefully there is less insulation trapping the heat in.  I also plan on making more of an effort to do warm weather training.

The second thing that set me off was not something I could have predicted.  My friend and I waited until the end of the group to start.  In my head this made the most sense because I knew I was going to be at the end anyway.  What threw me off though was when the race sweeper came up just to let us know she would be walking behind us but to just keep going and have fun.  I’m not sure why it threw me off but it did.  Being at the end made me feel like I was failing before I start.  Don’t get me wrong I knew I was going to end up at the end of this race but starting there was not a good place for me mentally.  So next time I plan to start towards the end but in with the group so hopefully I can feel less like I’m losing.

The third and fourth things that set me off were sort of tied together.  As I was walking along I saw the group in front of me getting further away.  I was also already at this point doubting my body and the ability to actually complete the 10k safely.  (I had visions of the first 5k I did in Canmore where I got to the end and almost fainted).  So as I saw the group getting further away and knowing I was walking with a friend I started to worry that if I had to drop out that she would be left on her own really far back from the rest of the 10k group.  I’m not sure how to fix this for next time, the only solutions I have right now are to do my next race on my own or to get faster.  LOL

By this point my brain was screaming to quit.  My body was hot.  My breathing was already struggling.  I was starting to battle the negative voice in my head but I was still trying to push through.  Then we passed the 1k mark and the final straw was when the volunteer said yah 1k done only 9 more to go.  I don’t know how to explain that moment but it was like something snapped.  The reality of what I was trying to do smacked me full on in the face and I was suddenly full of self-doubt. I lost the image in my head of me finishing the race.  Once the image was gone all the other factors made today feel impossible.  The only way to fix this is to just keep going.  I need to prove to myself that I can do it and that I’m ready to do it.  I need to keep pushing.  I need to keep trying.  Most of all I need to keep training.  I need to keep bringing my brain to the point where it wants to quit and push through it to help make my mental game stronger. 

When I made the decision to stop I was close enough to walk back and I did in tears. Of all the things I have and haven’t done in my life this one really hit hard.  I pride myself on my ability to push through things.  I’m stubborn and proud of it.  It has served me well in a lot of ways.  Today I couldn’t find that determination.  Today it felt like all the odds were against me.

The other reality of this race is something that extends further than just what happened today.  I have been struggling to find my motivation for a while now.  My work outs have been all over the place and nothing even close to consistent.  My eating and meal planning have been very much in the same boat.  I should have been working to set myself up for success but instead I procrastinated my way through promising that next week would be better until next week was race week.  This is probably why today was so hard on my soul.  It would be one thing to quit and know that I had tried my best but it’s another to quit and now that I could have done more.

I think the hardest thing about today though is now I don’t know if I could have done it.  In the moment I know that I was pretty sure my body wouldn’t hold up for the whole 10k.  Having watched the 10k race run on tv and seeing how little shade there was on the route I’m fairly confident that I did make the right decision to stop because of my body.  I strongly suspect if I had pushed through and kept going I would have been in rough shape at the end and battling dehydration.  In spite of this thought though the reality is that sadly I will always have the question of if I was right or if I just let my negative self-talk get the better of me.  I try really hard to live without regret.   I need to find a way to make sure this doesn’t become something I regret but merely a blip on a bigger journey.

So that leaves us with one big question…what now?  Well I know that I never want to feel as disappointed in myself again.  I plan on keeping my bib from today’s race somewhere I can see it as a  reminder of what it feels like to give up on myself.  I don’t want to forget the way I felt walking away from a goal.  I am going to use that memory and feeling to help push me so that I will be better next time.

There is a quote that I found by Henry Ford that sums up my mindset.  “Failure is only the opportunity to begin again this time more intelligently.”  I can turn today’s struggles into something amazing.  As cool as it would have been to cross the finish line today it is going to be even sweeter when I cross the finish line after failing today.  The next time I get to do a 10k I know it will be a challenge because I will remember today and have to fight through my fear but I also know that I can and will do it. 

As hard as it was for me there are aspects of today that have been amazing.  I have been blessed with amazing people who were cheering me on before I started and who have been cheering me up once I stopped.  One of the things I was struggling with was feeling like I had let everyone down.  I have been given so much support and love and encouragement from so many people and I didn’t want to disappoint.  What I learned though is that I have a lot of amazing friends who love and support me no matter what.  I feel very blessed to have so many wonderful people in my life.  Not only do they pick me up when I’m down, but they believe in me and they encourage me to become the best version of myself that I can be.  I’m grateful beyond words for all of you.

I shall end this blog with a picture.  It was a prerace picture when I was still hopeful and excited.  I will look at it and know that in spite of everything I did believe I could do it when this picture was taken.  That belief hasn’t changed.  I do still believe I can do it. It will just take me a little bit more time.  I will not let my disappointment discourage me or derail me.  Instead I will use it to push me forward.

Calgary Expo Musings & Memories Part 3: Thank you Calgary Expo!

As I sat down to write about my experiences this year at the Calgary Comic and Entertainment Expo I quickly realized I had too much to say for one entry.  This is the final entry.  I have loved sharing my memories.  I can’t wait to do it all again next year.  Happy reading!

You can check out part 1here. 

You can check out part 2here.  

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Every once and a while your best laid plans get turned around.  My original plan for this 3^rd blog entry was a list of the things that I have learned because of the Calgary Comic and Entertainment Expo but it’s not really turning out the way I had thought it might. As I started writing it became apparent that what I really wanted this last entry to be is a thank you to all the people who work so hard to pull the expo off.

I have spent some time the last couple of days looking through my previous Expo scrapbook albums.  I have been attending the Calgary Expo since 2012.  As I look through all the photos and stories and blog entries that I have kept, I have come to realize just how many memories and moments I owe to Calgary Expo.  This year has been an exceptional year for making memories and having special moments but the truth is that every year I seemed to be blessed with amazing memories.  Each year as the weekend comes to an end I say the same thing, “this has been the best expo yet.”  And each year I mean it.  I also question each year if everyone over in Expo headquarters will actually be able to make the following year even better.  2017 is going to be a hard year to beat but I’m really looking forward to seeing what will come.

In looking back I decided to do a little counting and between the six Calgary Expos (counting this year) I have attended and the one Edmonton Expo I was actually shocked by just how many celebrity guests I have met either for photo ops or for autographs or in a lot of cases both.  I apparently have had 51 photos taken and got 60 autographs.  That is 111 moments in the past 5 years that I have loved.  Sure some of those moments were more powerful or memorable than others but all of them have been something I looked forward to and anticipated for different reasons.  I also have been privileged enough to see many many panels.  I have heard stories and jokes and great accents, all of which add to the memories I take away each year.  I will say this, for as many interactions I have had there has only been 1 that I probably would have chosen to change if I had to do it again.  That’s a pretty awesome batting average and in reality even that one memory ended up with a silver lining that made for a special moment. 

None of these amazing moments and memories would have happened if it wasn’t for the hard work of all the volunteers and staff at Expo.  How can I not be filled with gratitude?  I have funny stories, moving stories and even a couple embarrassing stories that I will forever get to share all because of the hard work a team does behind the scenes.  I get to sound cool and exciting at least once and a while when conversations turn to things like television or movies.  I never had a lot of stories to share before expo but now I can hold my own when I start talking with friends. 

At least once a year I also get to go and hang out in one of the most accepting places on earth.  It is a place that I can let my walls down, celebrating the things I love and just be myself.  I am forever grateful to know that there is a place like this.  Each year I attend it renews my spirit and reminds me that I’m okay just the way I am.  It leaves me feeling better about myself and about accepting the things I love.  Over the last five years I have gone from being a geek that hid her interests away to someone who now is willing to share them with everyone.

To all the staff and volunteers at Calgary Expo I thank you.  I know that you guys have to work hard so that all of us fans can have a good time.  We take you for granted when things go right and curse you when things go wrong.  What we should be doing is celebrating you and appreciating you.  Next year I will continue to try and remember the bigger picture and all you have brought into my life.  I will try to show my gratitude as I pass each of you hurrying around.

Thank you for making my dreams come true and for making dreams come true that I didn’t know I wanted.  Thank you for all the hard work so that I don’t have to see when things are going wrong.  Thank you for the smiles and help you have always offered.  Thank you for always trying to improve and get better.  I can’t wait to see where you go next year.   I look forward to all the new memories that I will make.

Calgary Expo Musings & Memories Part 2

Some Memories Deserve to Stand Alone

As I sat down to write about my experiences this year at the Calgary Comic and Entertainment Expo I quickly realized I had too much to say for one entry.  This is now part 2 of 3, with the last to follow tomorrow.  I apologize now for the length of this entry.  It has been rewritten and reworked many times since Saturday.  It’s funny how living the moment and experiencing the changes that came, were so much easier than trying to share it and explain it.  Happy reading!

You can check out part one here.  

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I have always felt that if you see goodness in the world that it should be recognized, celebrated and shared.  Our world seems to spend a lot of time sharing and talking about the negative and sometimes you just need to see that there is some light in it.  This is the main reason that I wanted to share this memory and experience by itself.  Meeting Raphael Sbarge at the Calgary Comic and Entertainment Expo this past weekend brought some light into my world. 

I love and look forward to Calgary Expo every year.  Most of the people I work with know that come April they shouldn’t even ask me about it because it will get me babbling away like a goof.  I always know that it is going to be a fun weekend, where I get to meet my some of my long time crushes, actors & actresses I admire, and just get to be surrounded by a lot of really cool people and things.  It is a place where everyone is accepted no matter what.  It is one of the few times I can be in a large group of people and not feel judged.  This year started off a bit different for me though.  For the first time ever I found myself noticing people staring at me and even sadly heard a few whispered comments that I wish I hadn’t.  It put me in a weird head space for Thursday and Friday and once I was in that head space it was hard to ignore the looks that all seemed to be directed at me.  I have no doubt this mood and sensitivity would have continued for the weekend but then I got to witness something that changed my whole mind set and opened me up to what became one of the best weekends I have experienced.

On Friday at my last photo op of the day I got in line.  I was looking forward to the picture but not super excited.  I mean it was following after my Boy Meets World photo which I had been looking forward to for months and it was also the end of the day so I was a little tired.  I was happy to be there but not my usual super-excited-crazy-expo-Jill happy.  Don’t get me wrong, Once Upon a Time is one of my favourite shows and Raphael plays one of my favourite characters on the show (not to mention he has guest starred in a lot of my other favourite shows) but if I’m being completely truthful, had another guest not cancelled I probably wouldn’t have even done the photo op.  It’s funny how things work out though because now I wouldn’t trade the photo and moments that went with it for the world.

I planned to go in smile, pick up my photo and then head home.  What happened though was completely unexpected to me in the very best way.  In front of me was a lady who was in an electric scooter.  She was struggling to try and get up so she could stand for her photo.  I watched as Raphael walked over to her and offered to help.  He then walked with her to the mark for the photo, talking to her the whole time.  I could feel the compassion and warmth in that photo booth.  In a place that is usually so hurried and rushed it was refreshing to see the pace slow down so one fan could have an amazing experience.  After the photo was taken he walked her back and then joined me.  He thanked me for my patience before asking my name.  The photo was taken and I left deeply moved by what I had just seen.  As crazy as this is going to sound I actually felt lighter and happier just by being there to witness that moment.  I can only imagine what it would have felt like for that lady.

To put this into perspective I should explain a little bit about myself because it will totally make more sense why this moved me so deeply.  When I was two years old my mom had a stroke.  This was many years ago and they didn’t have near the knowledge or drugs to help reverse the damage a stroke can cause so my mom was left with mobility issues.  The stroke damage caused my mom's left side to no longer really function.  She has always had to walk with a cane and or use a scooter to get around and she has never in my memory been able to use her left hand.  I don’t know her any other way, although one of my favourite childhood photos is of me as a baby and my mom’s legs.  She was skating and pulling me in a sled around Bowness Park.  Another favourite is of her crouched down and watching me trying to walk.  I don't remember her this way but the photos always make me wonder what if.

Growing up with a mom who is disabled wasn’t always easy.  I often wondered what it would be like if I had a “normal” family but the reality is for all the struggles I wouldn’t change a thing because it sure taught me a lot.  I watched how she was treated, both good and bad, and learned a lot about the world from her experiences.  I learned a lot about how I want to treat people from it as well.  It’s not always easy and as an adult I often have to remind myself to have patience with her, especially when we travel, but I continue to strive to be kind to her.  A huge part of the reason I am the way I am is because of her and I love her for it.  I’m proud of my mom and her strength.  My empathy, compassion and desire to make a difference all come from watching her.

The kindness and compassion Raphael showed to that woman in front of me really struck a chord because of my mom.  I knew that I wanted to be able to say thank you for it.  I was filled with gratitude for him because it’s people like him that have always shown kindness to my mom as well.  I went home Friday night and thought a lot about that moment.  I went back and forth trying to decide if I was actually going to say anything when I went to get my autograph.  The true memory and moment belong to the woman in front of me and should be hers to share but I still felt changed by experiencing it so it left me feeling a little conflicted.  I thought about it and wrote about it that night and when I headed back to the Expo Saturday morning I still didn’t know if I was going to say anything, right up until Raphael smiled at me and asked how the photo turned out.  Well suddenly all the emotion of the night before (and probably also a little amplified due to lack of sleep) came flooding back and I knew sharing my gratitude was the right thing to do.

So I shared my thank you and gratitude for the moment.  I told him a little about my story although probably not very elegantly.  He patiently listened and responded back.  I don’t know that I made a whole lot of sense but he showed me a lot of kindness just by listening.  The whole time he had the warmest smile on his face.  He reached out and touched my hand once or twice which let me feel connected and at ease.  It let me be open, honest and pour my heart out a little.  It was such a sweet moment in which I felt vulnerable and unguarded.  He was charming and friendly.  He made me laugh when he said he had to stop for a second because it was tricky to write and talk.  I had his full attention for a few minutes and I felt like the only person in the world.  It probably helped that there was no one in line so I didn’t feel like I need to rush off.

I had planned to just say my thank you and go but he kept me talking.  I think in a way that was almost the best part.  I got to share my thank you but still got to have a really interesting separate conversation with him so I could have a moment that was all mine.  He asked me about Once Upon a Time and I told him how I loved it because it appealed to the writer in me because it was such a cool concept.  The moment that touched me the most in this part of the conversation though was when he asked me what I wrote.  You wouldn’t think this would be a big deal but it really made me feel important and special.  I’m there to meet him and yet he was taking a little bit of time to ask about me.  Again like in the photo op I could just feel his kindness and spirit (that sounds so fluffy but it’s the only way I can think to explain it). 

After signing my photo and taking a selfie with me he then gave me a hug.  Now I have often gotten hugs at Expo (never because I ask…I’m too shy for that…but because if they offered who is going to say no) and the thing with them is there never feel overly personal or special.  With Raphael this was not the case.  The hug he gave was a good and proper hug.  I have no doubt he could feel me shaking so he might have been terrified I was going to faint or something but it was amazing none the less.  Heheh!  If there was any doubt in my mind what type of guy he was, it was gone after that.  I thanked him again and said it was great to meet him.  I then quickly walked away because I could feel the tears starting.  No one at a convention no matter how excited or how cool the interaction, has ever left me feeling so emotional in such a good way or any way for that matter.  He is also the first to ever make me cry at the Expo (although John Barrowman came close last year for similar reasons).  I walked away feeling like a better person for having been around him.  I suspect from the stories I have been hearing he is always like this and I’m not all that special but it made a huge impression on me.

The reality of my life is that I often don’t get to see the best in people.  I have spent years being treated differently or judged because of how I look.  It has left me guarded in a lot of ways, which I have been working hard to change.  So to come across someone who doesn’t know me but was still so open and genuine with me made my day and weekend.  I felt accepted and valued in that moment.  It was a fantastic feeling.

It doesn’t take much to be nice to people but I believe to truly show kindness the way Raphael did, does take a special person.  I don’t think it is something you can fake.  It made me want to do something to show my gratitude and appreciation back which is why I asked Elisa to draw me the little Jiminy Cricket sketch that I shared yesterday.  I also made a little thank you card and wrote a letter so I could explain in better words what the experience of meeting him meant to me.  Selfishly I knew doing this would also mean that I could go back and talk to him again for a few minutes but mostly I just wanted him to know he made a difference in my world. 

First thing Sunday morning I stopped by his booth again to drop it all off.  I wish I had prepared a bit better what I wanted to say because as incoherent as I was on Saturday it was worse on Sunday.  There were others in line and I had already had my time with him so I sort of rushed through not wanting to take away from the other fans time.  I’m not going to lie I was also terrified I would start to cry in front of him and I didn’t want that to happen.  As awkward as I felt, he was amazing and friendly again.  I didn’t give him much of a chance to say anything this time (babbling Jill had taken over and she is hard to shut up) but he took it in stride.  Before I left he came around the table again gave me another good real hug.  I felt that hug all day.

I have been sharing this story with most of my friends and every time I struggle to try and put it into words what happened and its impact.  Every time I share it I feel the same swell of my heart.  The joy and happiness that was brought in to my world by meeting one person is beyond anything I could have hoped or imagined.  It was such an amazing experience.  I feel honoured and privileged to have gotten to meet Raphael Sbarge.  He left a huge impression on me.  He flipped my whole mood around in a few moments.  When I think of my 2017 Expo experience the memory of meeting him will be the first that pops into my head, even with all the other cool moments I talked about yesterday.  I can promise that if he was to come back I would be the first in line again.  What a classy and lovely man.  It might sound a little (okay a lot) cliché but I think the world is a better place with someone like him in it.  I also think we could do with a whole lot more people like him.  I for one will remember his patience and kindness the next time I’m getting frustrated by a situation or a person.

I learned and relearned many lessons this weekend (see tomorrow’s blog…hehe) and I have to say that at least a few of them are a direct result of meeting and interacting with Raphael.  So from the bottom of my heart, should you ever read this Raphael, I thank you for coming and for being so genuine and real.  It was a privilege to have met you.  You have made a fan for life…well okay I was already a fan for life but now I can appreciate you on a different level.  I will forever be grateful for those few interactions.  Sending you my love and gratitude.

“A generous heart, kind speech, and a life of service and compassion are things that renew humanity.” - Buddha

Calgary Expo Musings & Memories Part 1

As I sat down to write about my experiences this at the Calgary Comic and Entertainment Expo I quickly realized I had too much to say for one entry.  This is now part 1 of 3.  The other two will follow over the next couple of days.  One day I promise I’ll learn the art of being brief…maybe ;-)  Happy reading!

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I look forward to my weekend adventures at the Calgary Expo every year.  Each time as it ends I think to myself it was the best year yet.  2017 was no different.  It was another fantastic year, with amazing guests, lots of time with friends and great panels. I have no clue how the team at Calgary Expo will top themselves next year but I can’t wait to find out.  In the meantime I want to share a few of my favourite moments from this year.  They are a mix of celebrity guest moments and just cool happy Jill moments.

1. OMG I’m 37 going on 16!

One of my favourite guest announcements this year was when it was announced that Boy Meets World cast members, Will Friedle and Rider Strong were going to be in Calgary this year.  I love that show.  I didn’t get to watch most of it as it aired because we didn’t have cable but anytime I was babysitting on a Friday night it would get put on.  I got to see the final couple seasons though while I was away at university.  I was hooked.  As soon as it got released on DVD it ended up in my collection.  I fully admit that I watch all 7 seasons at least once a year.  I also admit that when I want something that will just make me smile I will stick on some of my favourite episodes.  Of all the tv shows that I own this is probably the second most often watched in my house (the first being MASH).  I was not disappointed by getting to meet them.  Both guys were super friendly.  Meeting them left me shaking and giggling like I was a teenager again.  It was so cool and fun.  Their panel was also my favourite of the expo.  It was fun listening them share stories and tease each other.  I do blame them for the craving of pizza that popped up as they discussed the pros and cons of pineapple on pizza.  Hehehe.  Both guys were super charming, funny and I wanted the panel to last forever. 

2. It is only crazy if your friends don’t agree to it!

This year was definitely a year for seeing friends at Expo.  After the first day I quickly made the decision that I wanted to try and do a selfie with all of them and tried to make that happen.  This turned out to create a very fun time and made me very grateful that my friends are all so willing to put up with my crazy, even the ones who hate having their pictures taken.  (The best part is it’s going to make a really cool scrapbook page to match with the celeb selfie scrapbook page…it’s all the people I love famous and not in one spot.)  This year gave me the chance to catch up with a good friend from high school that I lost touch with.  It also gave me the chance to continue to work on building some of my newer friendships.  I have done the whole expo thing on my own enough to know that it is way more fun with friends.  Who else can you run to after meeting your favourite guests, jumping up and down or near tears or who can you laugh with when you are so tired from standing in line you can’t help but wonder what random stains are?  Expo is always fun but when I get to share it with my friends it means that much more and usually means I have a lot more laughs.  I’m grateful every day for the friends in my life.  I’m a very bless woman.

3.  Can you come over and read me to sleep, please?

I might have a list of people that I would love to read me to sleep.  They are people (famous and not) that have voices that I could listen to forever.  After hanging out at a handful of panels I added a few more names to the list.  I have decided that I’m in love with the voices of John Cusack, Adrian Paul, James Marsters and especially Wallace Shawn.  Truth be told Wallace Shawn has been on the list for years but it was super cool to get to hear him in person again.  Just like when I listened to him in Edmonton I could totally close my eyes and picture Rex from Toy Story.  Also really you know he would probably do all the voices when he was reading.  LOL  As much as I love watching these guys act it’s totally their voices that have me captured.

4. Is this weird or is it just me?

You are never sure what will happen when hanging out at the Expo.  I have experienced all sorts of different things from fun to crazy to a little strange.  This year all of those happened in one moment.  On Sunday morning I went to get James Marsters autograph.  He greeted me and we chatted a little bit and then said hold on a second so I can chug my drink.  He told me what it was, some sort of electrolyte juice stuff from England.  He then upending the water bottle and downed very nearly the whole thing in one gulp.  I just started giggling because when I feel awkward it’s my natural reaction.  I didn’t know where to look.  It was odd and distracting and just thinking about it makes me giggle.  I totally had visions of him starting to laugh and me getting sprayed by it.  Every time I look at my Spike autograph I know I’m going to laugh.  He was super charming and lovely but seriously what a moment and damn he can chug a drink.  LOL

5.  I think I just travelled back in time!

18 years ago my very first boyfriend came to visit me in Lethbridge to meet me.  He took me on my very first date to the local theatre where we saw Dogma and I was introduced to Jay and Silent Bob for the first time.  He then took it upon himself to educate me on all the movies I had been missing.  I was hooked.  So when Kevin Smith and Jason Mewes were announced I messaged him right away.  We have stayed friends and I knew there was no one else that would be better suited to share my photo with.  It was totally cool to share the moment with him and it is definitely my all-time favourite photo.  It also helps that Smith and Mewes were super sweet and friendly.  I’m also glad to have a friend in line while I waited for that photo.  It made it a whole lot more fun and manageable. 

6.  Did that just happen?

Two media guests that I found myself a little star struck by were John Cusack and Jeremy Renner.  I found both to be quite nice and friendly.  Both autographs and photos were quick, which is understandable when you consider the size of their lines but I was still happy to have met both of them.  In another year they probably both would have been in my top moments but this year they did have some big competition from unexpected sources.  That being said I love the fact that I got to tell both I admire them and their work. 

7.  I have the sweetest friends.

This one matches up with number 2 sort of.  One of my more recent friendships is with the very talented artist Elisa Friesen.  You can check out her stuff here.  I met her through another friend and over the last year or so we have gotten to know each other.  I have had her create a couple pictures for me and I love the look of the stuff she brought with her both to Edmonton Expo last September and this year’s Calgary Expo.  Saturday when I decided I needed to get a thank you gift for one of the guests I messaged her to see if she had anything.  She didn’t but was quick to say she would draw something for me.  I was blown away when she did this amazing little Jiminy Cricket sketch and a very short amount of time.  It was one of the sweetest things someone has ever done for me.  Thank you Elisa for being so wonderful and for humouring my version of crazy.

8.  Unexpected things happen when you need them the most/you never know what will impact you.

This memory/experience/moment is something that has turned in to part 2 of this entry.  It is also the reason I was hunting for the thank you gift from above.  Meeting Raphael Sbarge made my entire expo.  It started on Friday with the photo op, continued through Saturday when I got his autograph and finished on Sunday when I said thank you one last time.  I’m so grateful to have had the chance to meet him.  I have no doubt that my expo would have been a completely different experience had the few moments I shared with him not happened, but more on that tomorrow.

I will look back on the 2017 Calgary Expo with a lot of fond memories and experiences.  It is a weekend that left me feeling recharged, lighter and happier.  It was the weekend I have needed for a long time.  As I adjust back to my boring world it’s always hard not to feel a little sad it’s all over but at least getting a chance to write about it lets me carry the feeling and memories forward for a bit more.

I want to end part one with a thank you.  It is a thank you to all the staff and volunteers that helped to make Calgary Expo great.  I’m grateful for all that you did and do because without you guys I don’t get the opportunities to have such amazing, lifelong memories.  You all have my heart and gratitude.