It has been a long time since I felt like I had something to really
share in my blog but I had to write about my latest run. A year ago I did my very first official timed
run. It was a challenge that I wrote
about here. On Sunday I went back out to battle
against the course again in what turned out to be an eye opening day and race. I think this will be a race that I look back
on and see as yet another turning point in my journey.
Leading up this race I wasn’t feeling very confident about it. I definitely didn’t train as much in terms of
running leading up to it as I did last year.
My lack of confidence in my ability to do really well meant that I went
in with no expectations. I just wanted
to go, have a good time, hopefully run a little and finish. I knew that I could do the distance but the
question was how much I was going to be able to run. I had vivid memories of the hills and in spite
of doing a little hill training I wasn’t feeling confident in my ability to be
able to do any better on them. The last
few months have been filled with good intentions but for various reasons my
follow through has not been quite up to par, but I will write about that in my
next entry.
The morning of the race I woke up at the crack of stupid (515am) with
my usual nerves and excitement. I was
ready for the race to start and be done.
I was in a bit of a weird head space though. I found myself thinking back over everything
and seeing all the things that I hadn’t done in the last few months and was
stressing myself out. I had to take a
little time to refocus my brain because I knew if I went out in that state I
really would have a hard time of it. I
took a little time to think about the things that I had done right and tried to
remind myself that I can’t change the past anyway. It showed me though that as much as I tried
not to care about the race that a part of me, the competitive part of myself,
was disappointed in my prep. This was a
huge realization to me. This was the
first time I ever looked back on my journey and really felt like I could have
and should have done more. It helped me
set my mind that next time I would try a little harder so that I wouldn’t feel
disappointed in myself.
When the time came for the race I wished the two friends, who had
surprised me last year, good luck as they decided this year to join me on the
walk. Shortly after they headed out, my
trainer and I joined the mass of people moving through the start gate. The nerves and jitters disappeared. I settled in to the task at hand and began to
walk the race. Knowing that I didn’t
have any concrete goals for this race I made the decision that for this race I
would run all the downhill sections. It
may have been a late goal but at least I had something to work towards as I
moved through the course.
Once again this year the positivity that filled the trails was
amazing. So many people cheered me on as
they passed by. Telling me good luck and
saying they were proud of me. It is an
incredibly uplifting experience to have so many people cheering you on even as
they do their own race. I was in a great
mood and as I moved through the course I could feel that my legs were stronger
than last year and the course wasn’t as draining. Some of that was definitely due to the fact
the temperature was a much more pleasant cooler running temp. LOL.
I managed to jog down all the hills although a couple of the longer
ones I didn’t get to quite finish out the whole hill before I had to stop. I was slow to go up the two major hills on
the course. My breathing was a challenge
(which it has been since I got sick last Feb/March) and unlike last year I did
have to stop a couple times to actually catch my breath. It was a little mentally frustrating because
in some ways it felt like I was failing.
After though looking back on it I know that a lot of my struggle was
because I wasn’t prepared. It will be
better if I do it again next year.
As the race came to an end I did jog across the finish line. My calf cramped up and threatened to drop me but
I pushed through and across the finish line. As I hit it I felt the wave of
emotion that I’m coming to expect when I really push myself. It was fantastic. I felt the tears well up in my eyes and got a
huge rush of pride.
In the end my finish time was 1 minute slower than last year. I completed the 5k in 1 hour 14 minutes. I’m actually okay with the slower time for a
few reasons. The first being I was
taking photos along the track this year and the second being that I know I ran
more than I did last year. I’m also
happy because when I looked at my watch tracker the 1st, 2nd
and 4th kilometers were all about 12:45 long which means I have
finally found a steady pace. Last year
each km got slower and slower.
In the aftermath of the race, after lunch, I was able to sit down and
write in my journal. I found it very emotional. I was filled with an overwhelming sense of
pride. I am always proud of what I do
and the previous races I have done but I don’t remember ever feeling it at the
same level as I did this year. Maybe it
was because my expectations were low or I didn’t really think I could do it but
did anyway but for whatever reason I feel like this was the most proud I have
ever felt. I think it was also the first
time I really felt like a runner at least during a race. The last three I have done were definitely
more walks than runs.
This 5K was truly fantastic for me.
It relit my fire and desire for more.
It helped to refocus me and I feel like I have a much better vision of
where I want to be going. This race
opened my mind to what is possible and to how much it matters to me. I want to do better and can’t wait to do it
again soon. In the meantime though here
are a few pics from the race.
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| Rose, Anne, Daisy and myself in a pre-race selfie |
 |
| More than half way there |
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| The last km always feels the longest - especially when there is a big hill still to deal with |
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| Anne, myself, Daisy and Rose - Woo hoo we made it :-) |
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