I know I wasn't going to write again until after I get back from BC but I just had an experience that I wanted to share. I headed to Walmart after work to pick up a few things and check out the Christmas stuff. While walking down a toy aisle I came across a mom and her two children. The older of the two girls loudly said "That girl is really fat." My heart fell and even though she was young and I know they don't really understand social conventions of not saying things like that it still stings. The good thing though is unlike most of the time when I hear things like this her mom had her apologize to me and explained that saying things like that hurt people feelings. Her mom was not tiny but I suppose that is probably why she said something. It did make me feel a bit better though that at least some children are being taught the right lessons. It wasn't done yet. While I was chatting with an old friend at the front of the store they came back and gave me some flowers and once again said they were sorry. I of course said it was ok and that there was no need for the flowers but it really was a sweet gesture.
I can't lie and say that it didn't change my mood. I long for the day when I'm like everyone else, when I can go to a store and not be noticed. Moments like this make it hard to see how far I have already come. I know I'm on the right path but it still seems like I have so far to go. There are times when I think maybe I should just take the easy way out and go have surgery done to be done with this journey sooner. I know deep down though I have to do it the hard way. It is the journey and days like today that will help me keep the weight off once I have lost it. The funny thing is that although I want to go unnoticed when I have lost my weight I also know it will never happen because I am determined to be out there so people know it is possible and that it can be done. For now I just have to keep on plugging away and using incidents like this to motivate me to change rather than to let them pull me down and back into my old habits.
A journey in accepting myself for who I am now while working on making myself into the person I see in my future.
i think its really great that you set good goals for yourself! more people in the world need to do that! your entry really inspired me. keep on powering through :)
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