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Sunday, May 28, 2017

Disappointed - Next Year Will Be Different

This is not the blog entry I thought I would be writing tonight.  Today I went out to the Calgary Marathon with the plan and goal of completing my first 10km race.  I’m broken hearted and disappointed to say that it did not happen.  I’m still processing what happened and how it has left me feeling but I feel it’s still important to document the moment.  I would have written a blog entry if I had been successful so I should also write one even though I wasn’t.  I’ll apologize now if it’s not very coherent.  I’m still fighting back tears and my brain is still quite muddled.

There are probably a million little things that I could blame for my struggles with the race.  Things like the fact my legs were tired thanks to a fire alarm Friday which made me have to walk down from the 6th floor or that I had to move the lawn on yesterday or maybe the fact that I had the joy of also dealing with cramps (sorry TMI).  Looking back on the race as short as it was for me, aside from the unplanned hiccups pre-race, I can see some very specific things that triggered me and set me off at the race to put me into the wrong headspace.   Without the right mindset everything seems impossible and that is in fact how I was feeling today.  Here is a list of the issues from today and how I can fix them for next time because there will be a next time.

The first of these triggers was the heat.  It was apparently about 17 degrees at the start of the race but the sun was beating down.  There was no shade and I could feel the heat radiating from my body even before we left.  I can’t change or predict the temperature of a race but I can continue to work on losing weight so hopefully there is less insulation trapping the heat in.  I also plan on making more of an effort to do warm weather training.

The second thing that set me off was not something I could have predicted.  My friend and I waited until the end of the group to start.  In my head this made the most sense because I knew I was going to be at the end anyway.  What threw me off though was when the race sweeper came up just to let us know she would be walking behind us but to just keep going and have fun.  I’m not sure why it threw me off but it did.  Being at the end made me feel like I was failing before I start.  Don’t get me wrong I knew I was going to end up at the end of this race but starting there was not a good place for me mentally.  So next time I plan to start towards the end but in with the group so hopefully I can feel less like I’m losing.

The third and fourth things that set me off were sort of tied together.  As I was walking along I saw the group in front of me getting further away.  I was also already at this point doubting my body and the ability to actually complete the 10k safely.  (I had visions of the first 5k I did in Canmore where I got to the end and almost fainted).  So as I saw the group getting further away and knowing I was walking with a friend I started to worry that if I had to drop out that she would be left on her own really far back from the rest of the 10k group.  I’m not sure how to fix this for next time, the only solutions I have right now are to do my next race on my own or to get faster.  LOL

By this point my brain was screaming to quit.  My body was hot.  My breathing was already struggling.  I was starting to battle the negative voice in my head but I was still trying to push through.  Then we passed the 1k mark and the final straw was when the volunteer said yah 1k done only 9 more to go.  I don’t know how to explain that moment but it was like something snapped.  The reality of what I was trying to do smacked me full on in the face and I was suddenly full of self-doubt. I lost the image in my head of me finishing the race.  Once the image was gone all the other factors made today feel impossible.  The only way to fix this is to just keep going.  I need to prove to myself that I can do it and that I’m ready to do it.  I need to keep pushing.  I need to keep trying.  Most of all I need to keep training.  I need to keep bringing my brain to the point where it wants to quit and push through it to help make my mental game stronger. 

When I made the decision to stop I was close enough to walk back and I did in tears. Of all the things I have and haven’t done in my life this one really hit hard.  I pride myself on my ability to push through things.  I’m stubborn and proud of it.  It has served me well in a lot of ways.  Today I couldn’t find that determination.  Today it felt like all the odds were against me.

The other reality of this race is something that extends further than just what happened today.  I have been struggling to find my motivation for a while now.  My work outs have been all over the place and nothing even close to consistent.  My eating and meal planning have been very much in the same boat.  I should have been working to set myself up for success but instead I procrastinated my way through promising that next week would be better until next week was race week.  This is probably why today was so hard on my soul.  It would be one thing to quit and know that I had tried my best but it’s another to quit and now that I could have done more.

I think the hardest thing about today though is now I don’t know if I could have done it.  In the moment I know that I was pretty sure my body wouldn’t hold up for the whole 10k.  Having watched the 10k race run on tv and seeing how little shade there was on the route I’m fairly confident that I did make the right decision to stop because of my body.  I strongly suspect if I had pushed through and kept going I would have been in rough shape at the end and battling dehydration.  In spite of this thought though the reality is that sadly I will always have the question of if I was right or if I just let my negative self-talk get the better of me.  I try really hard to live without regret.   I need to find a way to make sure this doesn’t become something I regret but merely a blip on a bigger journey.

So that leaves us with one big question…what now?  Well I know that I never want to feel as disappointed in myself again.  I plan on keeping my bib from today’s race somewhere I can see it as a  reminder of what it feels like to give up on myself.  I don’t want to forget the way I felt walking away from a goal.  I am going to use that memory and feeling to help push me so that I will be better next time.

There is a quote that I found by Henry Ford that sums up my mindset.  “Failure is only the opportunity to begin again this time more intelligently.”  I can turn today’s struggles into something amazing.  As cool as it would have been to cross the finish line today it is going to be even sweeter when I cross the finish line after failing today.  The next time I get to do a 10k I know it will be a challenge because I will remember today and have to fight through my fear but I also know that I can and will do it. 

As hard as it was for me there are aspects of today that have been amazing.  I have been blessed with amazing people who were cheering me on before I started and who have been cheering me up once I stopped.  One of the things I was struggling with was feeling like I had let everyone down.  I have been given so much support and love and encouragement from so many people and I didn’t want to disappoint.  What I learned though is that I have a lot of amazing friends who love and support me no matter what.  I feel very blessed to have so many wonderful people in my life.  Not only do they pick me up when I’m down, but they believe in me and they encourage me to become the best version of myself that I can be.  I’m grateful beyond words for all of you.

I shall end this blog with a picture.  It was a prerace picture when I was still hopeful and excited.  I will look at it and know that in spite of everything I did believe I could do it when this picture was taken.  That belief hasn’t changed.  I do still believe I can do it. It will just take me a little bit more time.  I will not let my disappointment discourage me or derail me.  Instead I will use it to push me forward.


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