*Series in progress* This entry is part of a series I’m writing
leading up to my running (walking…but hopefully mostly running) my first
5K. For more information on this series
check out the introduction here or just continue on reading this
entry. I have also included links at the
end to the other entries and to both the Terry Fox Foundation and my run
fundraising page.
I have spent years doubting my own abilities when it comes to physical
activity. Growing up overweight meant
that where other people seemed to enjoy gym class I dreaded it. As much as I wanted to keep up with my
friends the reality was I couldn’t and didn’t know how to really fix it. That feeling of not being able to do
something stuck with me and I began to really believe that there was just some
things that I couldn’t do until I lost weight.
Running was definitely one of those things. I think one of the coolest lessons I have
learned on this journey is that in spite of doubting myself my body has been
more than ready to accept all the new challenges I have thrown at it including
running.
The very first morning I tried running (June 30th for those
who are curious) will forever be in my brain.
Some of it is of course because I have it written down and recorded it
but some of it is because of how powerful that day was for me. I was nervous and excited walking in to the
gym because I woke up knowing that it was the day I was going to try and
run. I had no clue what to expect and if
I would actually be able to do it but I knew it was now or never. As my warm up neared its end I felt my heart
rate increase and it wasn’t just because of the exercise. I set my mind, focused on the mirror in front
of me and turned up the speed on the treadmill forcing me to start to jog. Let me tell you those first 30 seconds felt
like the longest in my life. When I
finished I felt like my lungs were going to explode from my chest but in spite
of that I also almost instantly felt a big rush. It was like everything became clear. I knew in that moment that not only was my
body able to run but it was made to run.
I could just feel it and let me tell you it felt amazing. That first run I think I did 5 or 6 intervals
and when I stopped I was exhausted but it didn’t matter because I had just
proven that I could do anything. I left
the gym walking taller than when I came in and with a smile that stretched from
ear to ear.
That lesson (that I could do this) and that moment is one that will
stick with me forever but it has been more than just that first run day that
has proven this. I continue to prove it
to myself each and every time I do something that I couldn’t the day before. In the last two month I have pushed myself
harder and done more than I thought possible.
I have slowly increased my run time from 30 secs to 90 seconds. It is not the easiest thing I have ever done
but it hasn’t killed me yet. As hard as
it is my body has not slowed down and in fact when the workouts get too easy it
begins to crave the increase. In fact other
than the day after my first run I have not experienced any pain or stiffness
which has blown me away. It was not what
I expected on this journey. Each day
when I go into the gym I feel like I can go a little further or a little faster
even if it is only just small changes.
I once half-jokingly said to a friend on Facebook that I was born to be
a runner but someone just forgot to tell my body sooner. After I wrote it I realized that it is kind
of true. Running feels natural and
amazing to me. I want to do more and be
able to go further. I have finally told
myself that running is something that I want in my life and that I’m ready to
continue to move towards it as a goal. I
know that even when the Terry Fox run is over I will continue to push myself to
improve and continue on this journey to be able to run. My hope…no my goal is that by next year when
I do this run again I will be able to run the whole thing. Nothing is going to stop me now. My body is only getting faster and before
long I will be running everywhere. There
is nothing in my way that I won’t beat and that has been an incredible lesson
that everyone should get to experience.
To donate and check out my progress please visit my page here.
For more information on the Terry Fox Foundation and the run check out
their page here.
Finding My Running Legs Previous Entries
A journey in accepting myself for who I am now while working on making myself into the person I see in my future.
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