New Year’s Resolutions Past and Future

The end of one year and the start of a new one creates the perfect time to wipe the slate clean and start over.  Each year I am one of the many that creates resolutions to help guide me on the year to follow and also like many I think they are often quickly forgotten and pushed to the side.  This year was a little different for me, if only because I had the resolution documented so I couldn’t forget them.  I’m actually proud of my resolutions for 2013 because all of them except for one was at least attempted.  So on this last day of the year I want to quickly look back at my resolutions for 2013 and share my new resolutions for 2014 (some of which will look pretty familiar).

In 2013 I came up with four things I wanted to work towards, all of which were things that work towards my overall life goals.  They were to move more, complete a 365 day photo project, complete another Nanowrimo challenge and read fifty books.  Each of these resolutions have had their own challenges and they are also ones that I have ignored in other years so I was pretty determined to complete them.

The resolution to move more was probably the easiest of all the resolutions because it was vague enough not to give me outlandish goals but still specific enough to get me up off the couch.  This resolution took me a while to actually fulfill because it wasn’t until I got my fitbit that I actually could see that I was actively working towards moving more.  I have already written about how wonderful this change has been for me.  It has been incredibly powerful to see results that I want and at a steady pace.  I feel like this resolution is one that I can check off as being completed without any second thoughts. 

The second resolution is also one that I’m happy to say was a success.  In 2012 I started to do a picture a day with the plan of completing an album of 365 moments that would have made up my year.  I did not complete this project in 2012 – in fact I made it to October and completely gave up on it which made me even more determined to do it this year.  I mean really I was so close to be done it was silly to stop.  I’m ecstatic to say that I have completed this project (my very last photo is of the movie poster for The Book Thief which I saw this afternoon).  The difference this year is that I created and printed the pages as I went along.  As I started to see the finished pages coming to the house I realized how truly special and great this project is.  I think it is my favourite album that I have created to this point in my life as a scrapbooker.  This year was an amazing year in a lot of ways and I have it all captured to remember forever.  I highly recommend everyone doing something like this.   There were times it felt like a drag or I would wonder how much I would really like to see hundreds of pictures of my cat or my dinners but when I look at the album even those pictures are pretty special and tell a story.

My third resolution is the one disappointment of the year.  I did not do Nanowrimo this year.  I had planned on signing up to do the summer camp version again which was being held in July. I signed up with intentions of working on a novel I have been researching for a bit but after the craziness of the floods in June I just couldn’t seem to get to a spot where I could actually focus and get to work.  I had a second opportunity to try in November and I did consider it but November is a notoriously busy month for me because of the work I put into our adopted Christmas family so rather than disappoint myself with an unfinished goal I put it to the side for the year.

My last resolution to read fifty books was actually added towards the end of the first week of January.  I have always loved reading but since graduating from university I have found that I don’t do as much of it as I would like.  I’m far too easily distracted by other things and even with the resolution I still didn’t quite make it to my goal.  I read 28 books this year.  I am a little disappointed by this but at the same time I’m pretty sure it is more than I have read in any year since I left university.  What I wasn’t expecting from this resolution though is that I would fall in love with fiction again.  A lot of the reading I had been doing was more research type books.  I got lost in a world of history and forgot how much fun losing myself in fiction could be.  Of all four resolutions this one was by far the most fun to try and achieve and so I don’t consider it a failure only getting part of the way to the end – it just means I have to try again.

Now as we stand at the start of a brand new year and I have done the look back it is time to look forward.  I have once again created a list of resolutions and much like last year I’m going to document them so that they stay fresh and I actually work towards them.  I plan on looking back at the end of 2014 and having even more check marks for completed resolutions.  So here is the list for 2014:

·         Move More/Lose More

o   With my fitbit I get a weekly report of what my average steps per day is and I plan on recording that on my blog page.  My last week was not my best week but it is the starting point.  I average 6,535.  This time next year I would like to see that number doubled.  Of course with moving more I expect to see my weight continue to drop.  This will be especially important because I have big plans for 2015 and I don’t want to be slowed down by my weight.

·         At least one day a week is a vegetarian day

o   In the summer this past year I decided to try to go part time vegetarian and I loved it.  I have continued to have meat free days and want to keep this going.  I love the variety it has brought into my diet and I look forward to continuing to explore other food choices.

·         Regular blog posts

o   I try to be good about posting but having just cleared out my blog posts folder on my computer and I realized that I write a lot that I never post.  So this year I will try to not let fear/nerves get in the way from me posting.  It also encourages me to set aside time each week to do some writing which also helps me keep motivated on working on my fiction

·         365 Photos for 2014

o   I wasn’t sure I was going to put this on the list again.  I loved my 2013 project but it has felt like a burden at times but at the same time like I said above it is one of my favourite albums so how could I not do it again.  I expect 2014 to be filled with just as many memories that I want to capture.

·         Read 50 books

o   Yep this one is back again too.  What can I say but I hate to see things incomplete so it is back and this year I will do it.  I have proved to myself in the last couple months I am capable of reading a book a week so I just have to make sure I do it consistently this year.

·         Complete a Nanowrimo challenge

o   That’s right it is another of my resolutions that has come back.  I just want to prove to myself that the first year I did this and completed a novel wasn’t a fluke – besides I also figure it is a good excuse to actually get my Titanic/WWI novel written.

I have to say that as great as 2013 was for me I am more excited to see what 2014 has in store.  I feel like each year just gets better and better so how can next year not be amazing.  I think as each year goes by I get closer and closer to being the person I really want to be. 

Before I end this post I just want to take a minute and wish you all a very Happy New Year.  I hope that 2014 is a stellar year for all of us.  I hope it will be a year filled with good deeds, good friends and a whole lot of memories.

My 10 Most Memorable Moments of 2013

It is that time of year when everyone starts to reflect on the year that was as it quickly comes to an end.  As all the programs begin to pop up with lists of the top stories, movies, songs, ect I decided that it was a good idea.  This year has been an eventful year to say the least and I figure it deserves to be remembered for the good and the bad.  So here it is my top 10 most memorable moments of 2013.

10. The Package Tour

                With the cancellation of my Creative Memories showcase I suddenly had vacation time and no plans but as luck would have it in Vancouver at the same time New Kids on the Block, 98 Degrees and Boyz II Men were making a stop for The Package Tour.  It was boy band heaven for me and I couldn’t believe my luck when I was able to get really great tickets.  The night of the concert I got to wallow in nostalgia and enjoy some great looking men and fun music.  It was a night to remember.  I screamed, sang out loud and even got touched by Donnie (twice).  I was a teenager again for a few hours.  It was by far one of the best concerts I have ever been too.

 

9.  Invasion of the birds 

                Cedar Waxwings birds came to my neighbourhood on two separate occasions in March and took over the trees, bushes and airspace.  I grabbed a few photos from my window because I didn’t want to scare them off but then headed outside.  They didn’t all take off and in fact they didn’t seem to pay much attention to me at all. As impressive as it was from in the house I was blown away by the sight when I came out.  The noise was unbelievable.  The neighbourhood was alive with the squawking of hundreds of birds.   They played in the snow and stripped the bushes of any berries that had started to show up and when they were done they all took off together.  It was like a great big team.  When they lifted up all you could hear was the flapping of the wings.  It was pretty phenomenal.  I hope to see them again in 2014. 

 8.  Success of my Christmas Family

                Without a doubt the moment I’m most proud of this year was a month in the making.  With the help of friends and co-workers I was able to put together almost $1000 in gifts and gift cards for a family dealing with cancer.  Adopting a family at Christmas is something we do at work each year but with all the relocation of us because of the flood I knew I wasn’t going to be able to fundraise like we normally would.  I made the decision to adopt a family regardless even if it meant I had to donate a bunch of my own money to make it a success.  I had my doubts I was going to be able to pull it off but the night it came to wrap and I began to unpack bags I was filled with joy.  I knew that this was going to make a difference for one family and that they would be able to have an amazing holiday because of how generous the people in my life were.  To me that is what Christmas is and my Christmas was made when I dropped it off at the hospital.

 

7.  Meeting Cary Elwes

                For my second year attending the Calgary Comic and Entertainment Expo the highlight of the whole weekend was getting to meet Cary Elwes.  I developed a crush on him when I first saw the Princess Bride when I was a young girl.  That movie became one of my favourite all time movies and I still watch it anytime I get sick.  When I found out Chris Sarandon and Cary Elwes were coming to the Expo I was so excited.  Friday when the doors opened I knew where my first stop was going and quickly made my way to the autograph section and found where Cary was signing.  It took me a minute to get the courage to go up but I did.  He was so nice.  I quickly told him he was one of my first crushes to which he replied that I was a sweetheart (probably well trying to figure out if I was harmless or crazy).  It made my whole Expo.

               I do have to admit though that it was hard to pick just one moment from Expo this year.  I had so much fun and met so many of my favourite actors including but not limited to Nathan Fillion, Michael Shanks and MacGyver himself, Richard Dean Anderson.  It didn’t matter where I went I felt like I was on cloud nine, helped by the fact I had also splurged on the VIP pass so I was undaunted by line ups to make me cranky.  2013 was an amazing year for me at the Expo and I still find myself looking at the scrapbook and remembering.

 

 

6.  Easter at my Sister’s 

                It is not very often anymore that I get to be around both of my nieces and my nephew at the same time.  This year for Easter though not only did I get to see all three of them but also got to spend the day with my Nan as well.  It was a great opportunity to take a few family photos (even with the complaining that goes with them), enjoy some good food and fun company.  I love it when my family all gets together to celebrate something together.  As much as we might not always get along it is good to see that from time to time we can get together and just have a good time. 

 

 

5.  Death of my first car/New car

                As much as I joked about getting into an accident so I could get a new car I was not prepared for the reality of that situation.  (I also learned not to joke up things like that…self-fulfilling prophecies and all that jazz…eek!)  I was crushed to see my faithful Tercel towed away after a minor accident.  It felt like such a waste for it to be written off.  That being said it didn’t take me long to fall in love with Serenity, my brand new Corolla, once I had her.  The car buying experience was helped by some amazing friends who helped keep me sane when stress was threatening to overtake me.  It turned out to be an amazing experience.  My luck with cars this year has not been so great and Serenity has been broken in rather harshly but hopefully 2014 and beyond she will get to live up to her name and enjoy an injury free existence.

 

4.  BJ opening her scrapbook

                I love giving scrapbooks as presents because they always get the best reactions.  This year I decided to put together a scrapbook for BJ, one of the owners of the Rosebud Country Inn that we love.  It was a simple scrapbook of the top ten reasons we love Rosebud.  I filled the book with some of the pictures I have taken over the years and had each of the gang I go out there with write letters telling her how special we think our experiences are when we visit.  We gave it to BJ in the morning of our annual Christmas visit and as soon as she opened it you could tell how touched she was.  I didn’t capture the initial moment on camera because I didn’t want to intrude into it but to see her tear up and become speechless filled my heart with joy.  The best part about this moment was that I got to share it with some of my best friends. 

 

3.  Calgary (and Alberta) floods  

                The floods this year have been on almost any news related list I have seen.  For me the floods meant a complete change in my workplace.  After 7 years of working at the old Holy Cross hospital we were forced out by the water flowing through our city.  As we left the building we joked about getting a rain day but we none of us realized just how bad it was going to get.  The next day waking up to the news that the city was in a state of emergency and badly flooded was unreal.  It was hard to believe what we were seeing on the news and even after going and taking photos for myself I still found it hard to believe.  I’m sad that we won’t be going back to the Holy Cross again but am looking forward to finally getting an office location where we can settle in again early in 2014.  

                Beyond the work side of the flood though what I find most memorable about the flood was after it was done and how our city pulled together.  So many people were wanting to help out and do anything they could.  When I went to help out at my friend’s condo I was blown away by the number of people who were walking from house to house offering help, dropping off food or just offering some words of encouragement.  It was truly inspiring to see just how much people care.  It gave me faith and pride in my city. 

 

2.  A published photo

                One of the amazing things to come out of the flood for me was the fact that I got to have a photo published.  The morning after the flood I went out with a friend to get a look at the Bow River.  As we walked along a ridge and I looked at my flooded city I was blown away.  I did what I always do though and started taking photos which of course I posted on Facebook.  My Aunt saw them and asked if she could use one of them for a newspaper called Alberta Street News.  I said that was fine as long as I could get a copy of it.  I was so excited when it came in the mail and there on the front page was my name and picture. 

 

1.  A published article

                If having a photo published wasn’t enough I also got to see my name in print this year on something I wrote as well.  Having an article published in the Calgary Comic and Entertainment program guide was by far one of the coolest things.  I’m not sure it was my best writing and it was a little out of my frame of reference since I usually only write fiction (or random babbling blog entries) but it was still pretty cool to see something I wrote published in black and white.  I loved more than anything being able to give copies of it to my parents and to my Nan.  I don’t think I will ever forget that moment when I first saw it.  Pride, joy and a little bit of terror filled me.  I even saw someone reading it while I was at the Expo which was so exciting.  I had a reader (even if they didn’t know it). 

 

 

 

I hope everyone reading this created a lot of great memories this year as well.  I look forward to see what 2014 has to offer.  

10,000 Steps

I didn’t realize how powerful the idea of achieving 10,000 steps in a day would actually be when I went out and bought a pedometer so I could start tracking my movement.  I also didn’t realize how much a small little electronic device could change my life in major ways.

Getting a pedometer is something I have wanted to do for a long time.  In the past I have tried a few of the traditional type that clip onto your belt or pants but because of my size they just don’t work as well as I would like them to.  This led me to start to look for other types and on the recommendation of a friend I started to consider the FitbitFlex.  I wasn’t totally sure it would be the right choice for me, mostly because I don’t where watchers or bracelets so I figured having a pedometer on my wrist would actually annoy me.  I also wasn’t sold on the price of the little gadget.   At just over $100 it seemed like a lot of money to be spending on something that I figured I would lose interest in but on September 12, I made the decision to go out and buy one.  I haven’t looked back since and just over three months later I have to say that I’m still as in love with this fancy pedometer as I was when I bought it.

Of course buying a fancy pedometer didn’t instantly mean I was getting 10000 steps a day.  The fact was that after the first day of tracking not only was I wondering how on earth people can actually get 10,000 steps but I was also questioning how active I thought I was compared to what this little tracker was now showing me.  10,000 steps seemed like it was a faraway goal but I knew it was something that I wanted to achieve.  In true Jill fashion I made a plan. The cool thing about the Fitbit is that it lets you set a goal and when you reach that goal it vibrates.  (It also has a smiley face that shows when you achieve your goals and you look at your profile on the computer, and who doesn’t like smiley faces).  So I decided that I would start with 5000 steps.  It was a little more than I had done on the first day so I knew I would have to push myself to move a little bit more but it wasn’t a scary number.  The first week I hit 5000 6 out of 7 days so the next logical step was to up my goal to 6000.  I made steady progress from 6000 to 7000 to 8000 but then I got stalled out a little bit.  8000 was a hard target to hit unless I actually worked on it.  This was the first time I had to really consider my daily routine (which because of longer commutes is still messed up) so I could find ways to get more steps in regularly.

The biggest problem for me to get past the 8000 mark was that I just don’t have the same amount of time I used to in order to workout, which would make 8000 and higher much easier to achieve.  I also have to admit that even if I do have the time since we moved further away that I’m more likely to make an excuse to skip the workout.  So with all of that in mind I knew that I had to find a way to get to the goal even on those days where I don’t manage to sneak in a workout.   I began to look at all the little things I could do that would add more steps to my total without stealing away time.  Some of these things seemed really silly at first but I have been blown away by how many steps they have added to my day.

The first thing I started to do was set a reminder in my outlook calendar at work.  An hour after I arrive at work it pops up and tells me to take a break and go for a walk.  Having a very computer heavy job there are days that I would go hours without moving, especially if I’m focused on a specific project.  Having the message pop up becomes a great reminder that I have been sitting and I need to move.  I get up, stretch and go for a walk, whether it is to the bathroom, or the sink to get water or even just a quick trip around the floor I work on.  The important part for me is that I just get up and move.  The results were pretty noticeable.  I went from earning 2000-3000 steps during my work day to around 5000 before I leave the building.  2000-3000 extra steps from just getting up from my desk and taking a quick break.  It doesn’t use much of my time but it adds up in shocking ways.  It also had an unexpected side effect in that I am not getting that afternoon drained feeling now.

The second thing I started to do was for when I got home.  I will admit that I watch a lot of TV.  In a perfect world I would stop it and do something more productive with my time but I’m not ready to make that decision yet.  I needed to find a way that I could still watch my favourite shows and still become more active.  Well much like the pop up message at work I began to get up on commercials.  When my favourite shows break I get up and do laps around the house, march on the spot or just goof around and dance to the music in my head (I’m pretty sure my cat thinks I’m nuts at this point).  Well for every five minutes (which is usually about two commercial breaks) I earn an extra 500-600 steps which adds up nicely in my overall total.  Again like the walking at work it wasn’t a change that required a lot of effort on my part other than making sure when the commercials come on I stand up.  After a long day at work I’m not going to lie this is sometimes a challenge but now it is so much a habit I find that I’m even doing it in the morning if I happen to have a few minutes where I’m actually watching Canada AM while I get ready for work. 

Those two little steps alone helped let me get to 9000 steps and have been helping me achieve 10,000 at least some of the time.  I have also found myself more aware of how much I am moving which means I’m doing things like parking further away from stores or instead of taking short cuts I actually walk the long way around to do things.  The fun little tracker on my wrist acts as a constant reminder of my desire to be moving more.  It has become an anchor that I can touch and feel and even gives me feedback so I know if I’m doing what I need to be doing.

My goal is now set at 10000 steps a day.  I have plans to continue to increase that limit in the future but for now it has stayed there for the past month or so.  I have a rule with myself that if I’m not hitting my goal the majority of the days of the week I won’t up the limit.  10000 has been a challenge.  The first week I moved to 10000 steps I ended up feeling incredibly discouraged.  It was a busy week and I only ended up hitting 10000 once.  I was mad at myself.  Then a friend at worked asked a simple question that changed my view of how I look at the step goal.  She asked me if I had a number in my head that I wouldn’t go under.  I didn’t.  I hadn’t thought about having a range for a goal but suddenly it made sense.  I set the goal range as 8000-10000.  It is a range that is challenging for me but at least now I can let go of the disappointment of not meeting a goal as long as I hit 8000.  The funny thing about cutting myself that little bit of slack though is it actually made it easier for me to hit 10000 thanks to another little feature of the fitbit.  In increments of 20% of your goal a little light becomes lit on the flex.  So when I hit 8000 I have all five lights lit up even if I haven’t reached my goal.  Well once I hit all five lights I know that my goal is close and so I push a little harder to get there so that I can feel that familiar vibration on my wrist that tells me I have achieved my goal.  It’s funny to me the strange games we play with our minds but I guess in the end if it works I’m not going to argue with myself about it.

One of the lessons I have taken from having my fitbit is that although I used to consider myself fairly active I was really fooling myself.  Sure I was working out but then I would spend the rest of the day sitting in front of a computer or my TV which is completely counterproductive.  The tracking on the fitbit shows you not only how many steps you are doing but also what time you are doing it.  I quickly realized that sure I had moments were I was fairly active but I had a lot more time where I wasn`t moving at all.  It really shocked me when I saw it and it changed the way I look at myself.  As I continue to work towards my goal of being a healthy weight I will also continue the goal of making sure that I have more activity in my life than I do down time. 

Since getting my fitbit I have been recommending it to everyone because the best part of this small investment has been the benefits that I have gained.  Since buying it I have watched my weight begin to steadily go down instead of the bouncing around I had been doing.  In fact since getting it without changing anything other than the amount of moving I’m doing I have managed to lose 12.5 pounds which works out to be around a pound a week.  This little device has motivated me in so many ways now.  It is incredible positive to see results week after week and the positivity is rolling into other areas.  Seeing the weight go down week after week also helps me make better choices when I’m grocery shopping, eating out and cooking.  You don’t want to work hard to move more only to screw up the graph because you eat crap.

I want to end this entry with a quote I wrote down after a play in Rosebud.  It is a little quote that has stuck with me and seems appropriate.  “Sometimes it’s the littlest things that stay with you the longest.”  This quote applies to so many things in my head but in this instance it just reaffirms to me the power of what we think of as little.  Don’t write something off just because it seems silly or small because all those things can add up to be huge, even one minute of activity is better for you than one minute of doing nothing and quickly one minute can turn into 2 minutes which can turn into 5 until before you know it you are earning your own 10000 steps.  For me it has always been a case of little changes snowballing to become big changes and motivation.

My Christmas Wish

I have to admit I struggle with Christmas each year.  I love the idea of the holiday but Christmas and I just don’t tend to get along.  I tend to find that if something bad is going to happen to me it seems to happen around Christmas (or maybe I’m just more sensitive to the things that happen at this time of year).  I always go into the season with the hope and expectation that things will be amazing & wonderful.  Sadly, I usually find myself disappointed.  I don’t think I’m alone in this - I think lots of people build up Christmas and are disappointed when it doesn’t go as planned.  I also think that I can’t possibly be the only one that suffers with wanting feel more Christmassy (I mean there is even that song “Where are You Christmas” by Faith Hill).  I have to double my efforts to try keeping a positive attitude during this time of year but -- my family can attest to this -- my best efforts aren’t always successful.  This year it feels even tougher for me.  I am finding that my mood is not very Christmassy and I decided to try and do something about it this year. 

When I started to try and figure out when my mood shifted and began to drop, I realized that it was as soon as I was done organizing, wrapping and dropping off the gifts that I had arranged for the Christmas family I adopted.  Adopting a Christmas family has been a tradition that we have done at work as long as I have been there (7 years for those who are wondering).  It is something I have always loved helping with and was excited to be able to take the lead on last year.  This year I wasn’t sure how it would work because my workplace is still displaced from the floods in June so the traditional fundraising we would do was not as practical or easy to arrange.  Logistically this meant I was fighting an uphill battle to get the funds I needed to give a special family an amazing gift.  The Christmas family gave me a purpose for the month of November.  I was on the hunt for the perfect gifts for the family.  I’m not normally a shopper but when I hit the malls for my Christmas family I feel like I’m on top of the world.  Once it was done though I felt my usual wave of disappointment because I had lost that sense of purpose.  I feel this year that sense of disappointment seemed stronger but I think that is just because it was such a surprising year.  I was pretty sure it wasn’t going to be the most successful of gift drives (and had even set aside a large chunk of my own Christmas budget to go towards the family) but I was blown away by the generosity of my friends and co-workers.  I honestly think that this was the most successful year.  It has left me just wanting to do more.

This desire to do more led me to the idea for my Christmas wish which is for a happier, kinder, more generous world.  Now sadly I don’t have a magic wand or a fairy godmother to actually make this wish happen for the world but I can make this happen for a few random people that happen to cross my path between now and Christmas.  I will do my best to try and make a small difference in the world directly around me.  I don’t have a true plan yet but I know that the more good deeds I can do the better I will feel.  Now please don’t get me wrong I try to do good things year round because I have always felt a strong drive to try and make a difference for people but at this time of year I actually crave the mood boost that comes with those good deeds more.

More than that though, my wish is for anyone who is reading this blog (I know it’s not a huge list of people) to also go out and try the same thing.  Ask your own friends to join in this mission.  I would love to see everyone go out and do something unexpected and wonderful for someone else.  Shovel a walk for a neighbour, hold open a door for someone, volunteer somewhere, buy a coffee for the person in line behind you – just go out and do something positive and nice for someone be they family, friend, neighbour or stranger.  This time of year as we rush around and get stressed out you would be amazed at how great you will feel knowing you made someone else smile (and I promise that even if you don’t see it, you will make the recipient smile – for all the good deeds I have done I have also been blessed enough to experience some of it in return).  I would love to read about your own experiences in the comments section at the end of this post.  Share your own stories, help give me ideas for more I can do and let’s show the world that there are people who are willing to do nice things for other people just because they can.  Let’s find a way to bring a little more peace, goodwill and holiday cheer to our world (even if it is just the small part we as individuals take up on this planet).  I promise if you are suffering from lack of that Christmassy feeling that after you do even just one good deed you will start to feel it.

Join with me for the next ten days and try to do something good for someone.  Let’s show the world how generous we can really be by putting our best foot forward.  We can create a happier, kinder and more generous world one good deed at a time.

Sometimes the Stars Line Up

The older I get the more I am really starting to believe things happen for a reason.  Some people would argue that it is just coincidences or that we see reason behind the things we want to see reason behind but today once again I was confronted the idea that sometimes things are just meant to be.  We may not always get it or understand what is going on but sometimes we are just in the right spot at the right time.

It was announced today that Alberta Health Services is withdrawing the lease on the Holy Cross Center which sadly means that I will be changing work locations.  We don’t have any details or know where we are going but I will admit it stresses me out a little bit.  I have struggled the past few months with the longer commute time and the fear that now it will be permanent or god forbid it might even be longer depending on where we move.  This has me questioning everything from what I value to what I’m willing to sacrifice for a paycheck.  The reality is questioning my job and my role there is not something new – this has just added a new level to the questions.  It is just another thing on the con side of the list.

The good news in all of this is that instead of being at work and dealing with the drama that is no doubt unfolding there I am still on holidays.  Being at Rosebud right now is probably the very best thing for me.  I don’t have to listen to all the rumours or deal with other people who have the same questions I do.  Not only that but as the only guest in the Inn tonight I have a quiet place to relax, unwind and begin the process of sorting everything out.  If I was at home not only would I be dealing with all the rumours and craziness but I also have my parents visiting so time on my own would not be as easily found.  No matter what goes on in my life being on my own has always been the only way I can actually sort through and deal with anything that causes me stress.  Being alone allows me the freedom to let my brain just run without having to filter the emotions that come with it.  There is nothing worse than trying to sort stuff out with a bunch of people asking you if you are okay when you have that far away distant look on your face.  So being away is a blessing in disguise.  This trip has been planned for probably 6 months or more but it certainly couldn’t have happened at a better time.

The other thing that sort of hit me as being random and maybe meant to be about the timing of the announcement is that last night I found myself questioning things.  I was sitting watching a gorgeous sunset at Horsethief Canyon.  This canyon is amazing and beautiful.  It made me feel small and yet connected to our world.  I was the only person there and with nothing to do but watch the sun slowly sink over the horizon my brain was free to wander.  I don’t necessarily know what my thoughts are on god and religion but I was asking questions of myself and/or someone that may have been listening.  The main question I was asking is if it was time for me to move on at work?  I don’t have an answer to this question but it is funny that things that could help sway my choice happened the next day.  Sure you can argue coincidence but again more and more I think sometimes things are just meant to be.  Of course reading it as a sign is probably a bit of stretch for where my brain is at right now but it is funny how things happen.

Of course now the question is what do I make of everything that is happening?  Thankfully I guess I’m still very logical when it comes to working things out and that means that although the day is coming when I’m going to have to decide once and for all if I want to continue to work where I am or if I’m going to try and find something new, I am not going to have to make that decision right away.  I do think that it means it is time to really consider what I want, what I’m looking for and what would really make me happy.  It is probably also time to pull out my resume and make sure that it is actually up to date.

The world is full of questions and I guess I have found a few more to add to my list.  So for tonight I guess it was enough to just write about it and get it off my chest and out in the world.  Now I shall sit back and enjoy the quiet of the sleepy little town of Rosebud.  I will listen to the crickets and continue work on my novel banishing all the heavy thoughts until I return back to Calgary and am forced to deal with them head on.

Ready for a Slower Pace

The only way I know how to describe this summer is strange.  It has been hectic and crazy and now as we enter the last week before September (where did summer go anyway?)  I am finally getting a chance to slow down.  Sure it took running away to Rosebud but even after only a few hours here I already feel my mind slowing and my body relaxing.  I see yoga poses and long walks in my future J

As I was driving out I realized the best way to describe how I had been feeling is the way you do after a really crazy day.  The type of day where it is go go go until you finally get to lay down in your bed at the end of the night.  You don’t realize how crazy the day has been until exhausted you sink into your pillow and mattress.  The past two months have been go go go for me and I’m hoping that this week at Rosebud will be like laying down for the night.  (Go figure that I would think of sleeping when I get to Rosebud when one of my favourite things at the B&B is the beds…hehehe)  I am already anticipating that feeling of everything melting away.

Things in my real world have been pretty crazy since Calgary flooded.  My office is still displaced from our building and it looks like we will be until at least December.  My Nan ended up in the hospital which probably isn’t that shocking when you consider she is 94 but the fact that I have never in my life really known her to be sick at all was scary.  She is back at home now and doing better though so that’s good.  She is probably the subject of a blog entry I should write one day all on her own.  Added to that is some uncertainty that came with the end of Creative Memories (and soon the start of a new company).  Of course there has also been a lot of great things like my BC vacation and Mondays off which gave me time to do some fun things with friends.  The one thing all of it has in common is that it has kept me very busy and kept my mind spinning, leaving little time to work on writing or anything really creative.

It is funny to me how quickly we can move at times dealing with situations and not realizing the toll it is taking on us or the changes it is creating.  I realized the minute I sat down after unpacking and settling into my room how the last few months have changed me.  As I sat there with a whole week of nothing stretching in front of me I felt like I should be doing something.  That is when it clicked that no I have nothing to do but slow down and relax.  Yes I brought my novel with me and I plan on writing it and yes I have some digital scrapbook stuff to finish up but for the first time in a long time I realized that it was okay for me to just sit down and stare out the window and let the world spin on by.

There are a lot of things I love about Rosebud but as I looked out the window what made me feel amazing is that there were no cars, no road noise (just some crickets) and no one needing my attention.  It is the perfect place for me to get away to because it is so close to home and yet it feels like it is another world.  I can connect to my life if I want or I can ignore it and get lost in a good book or with a pen in my hand.  I’m so ready for this recharge.  I look forward to the inspiration that will come with it.

10 Ten Things I Learned Driving to Vancouver

A friend of mine often does top ten Tuesday lists and so taking her lead I came up with one of my own (because really this is just what happens when you leave me driving for hours.)  So this is the top ten things I learned and/or rediscovered while driving to Vancouver today.

10. We are so lucky to live so close to the Rockies.  They are beautiful.
I have driven the drive to Vancouver many times (often as a passenger but also as a driver) every time I am always amazed at just how pretty the drive is.  There is something really special about the mountains and I love having the excuse to drive through them rather than fly over them.

9. I love driving on the highway it is freeing
To say I was resistant to learning to drive is probably a bit of an understatement but when I get behind the wheel on the highway I don’t know why I fought so hard against getting my license.  My favourite stretch of the drive to BC is always the same – right outside of Kamloops over the Coquihalla.  The reason I love it is because the speed goes back to 110km/hour and normally I have it to myself.  When I have driven in the past I usually stay in Kamloops for the night so I get up and head to the ferry before anyone else is up.  So tonight when I was coming in around dinner time I wasn’t sure it would be the same but for the most part it was.  This was also the section of the highway when my mood went from happy to really excited J

8. I have a thing for hitchhikers that look like hippies. 
Okay so this is totally random but for whatever reason of all the hitchhikers I saw along the way the only ones I actually wanted to pick up (not that I did) were the ones that looked like hippies.  I guess my brain figures they would have more fun stories to share and probably be less likely to murder me.

7. I have horrible taste in music.
I should preface this one by saying that in reality I have a very wide range of musical tastes.  I like just about everything so I’m sure not all my music is bad.  On this road trip though when you considering I was coming to Vancouver to see The Package Tour with New Kids on the Block, 98 Degrees and Boyz II Men my musical choices were a little bit of a throw back.  I spent the majority of the drive reliving my junior high school days.  It was awesome in all its horrible glory.

6. I can’t sing but I really enjoying singing badly really loud.
To go with the horrible musical choices that kept me entertained I was reminded of how much fun it is to just sing them out.  Luckily with no passengers there was no one to have to behave for so I sang my heart out all the way to Vancouver…well okay maybe not all the way to Vancouver by the time I hit Chilliwack I was pretty tired and just ready to be at the hotel.

5. I love my car!
This is not really new.  I have loved my car since day one but when I think back to making the same trip in my Tercel and compare it to my little Corolla and this trip turned out to be a much better drive.  She is well named – yes she is named, Serenity or Reni for short.  She brought me a whole lot of serenity the further away from Calgary she took me.  (On a side note that might be more to do with all the craziness of the last few weeks rather than the car, but for now I will give credit the car)  I will also admit that I will never be able to live without air conditioning ever again.  When I was driving through Kamloops and area with temperatures in the 30s (that’s Celsius) I couldn’t help but remember the many times I was dying in my Tercel, melting into the seats.  Much nicer this time around, I almost need a sweater a couple of times.  I loved it!

4. A Tim Horton’s ice cap is heaven at 3pm on a long road trip.
What can I say but the afternoon is hard for me.  I’m good in the morning and in the evening but in the heat of the day all I want to do is take a siesta.  To fight that today I stopped and grabbed a donut and an ice cap.  Maybe it is because it has been so long since I had one but it tasted amazing.  I’m drooling thinking about it.

3. I will never be the fastest driver
I realized that I’m content just going along.  I don’t feel the need to race off up the mountain and actually enjoy being at the back of the pack.  It is much more relaxing at the end of the line than being at the front of it.  You don’t have to worry about the grill of a semi filling your rear view mirror chasing your car down.

2. Driving makes my creative juices flow so instead of being a writer that drinks I need to be one that drives.
I have no clue why this works so well for me but every time I get in the car the ideas start to flow.  I guess some of it is because the world just blurs by out the window and I don’t have to worry about anything except myself and my car leaving at least part of my brain free to wander.

1. I am at my best when I’m travelling.
Sometimes in my day to day life I forget that I actually like who I am.  I get caught up in stress and life which can leave me cranky.  When I travel though that all gets left behind.  I am more outgoing, happier and seem to draw people to me rather than scare them off.  I love the me that I get to be when I’m travelling – now I just have to find a way to make sure she doesn’t hide when I’m home.

A Week like No Other

I keep thinking back to last Thursday (the 20^th) when we were told to leave work because of the evacuation order for Mission.  A group of us walked over to the river right behind the office to check it out and we were all joking because it didn’t seem so bad.  

In the giddiness of an early dismissal from work this didn't look too bad.
 

It seemed hard to believe that it was really worth evacuating us and we all figured at worst we would get a long weekend out of it with Friday off as a “rain day”.  When I woke up Friday morning and saw how much of my city was full of water I was blown away.  It was surreal and unbelievable.  It was the start of what feels like a very long, stressful and emotional week.  Yet at the same time in a lot of ways it was one of the best weeks of my life. 

The best way to I know how to explain what has been going on with me is to break it down to a few different parts.  The first is the flood itself, the second is the greatness of individuals that I have seen come out of the flood and the last is work.  Each area has had a different effect on me but all of them together have created a week that I’m not like to ever forget.

After waking up early on Friday I found myself glued to my television as more and more reports and images came in about the flooding in our city and around Southern Alberta.  I was worried for a great deal of people in my life.  A handful of some of my very best friends were all living in areas that were being inundated with water and my heart was breaking for what they potentially could be losing and I was worried but hopeful that everyone was safe and sound.  As I heard from all of them my fears were put to ease on their well being and I knew we would just have to wait and see how the rest would turn out.    

As crazy and bad as things looked there was at least some humor to be had.  Rumors began to circulate, on twitter mostly, that the big cats from the zoo were evacuated to the city jail to be locked in cages there.  This of course was just one of the contingency plans but it seemed to have everyone laughing and joking, including our Mayor who said ‘he wanted that photo’.  Of course for all the jokes that started to pop-up (things like how were the Flames going to be able to drain the Saddledome with only one cup?) the seriousness of the situation also began to set in.  The images that were being shared on TV and social media were almost unreal.  I went out to take a few pictures Friday morning and even though I saw it for myself, to see so much water covering our streets was just really hard to believe.  It was shocking to say the least.

It is surreal to not only see water on the streets but an empty downtown at 8am on a Friday

As the water began to recede though not only did it reveal how much damage the city was going to be dealing with but it also began to reveal the true spirit of Calgary.  Actually to be fair it started to come out on the Thursday night as people were beginning to be evacuated from homes.   Quickly on social media and kijiji people were speaking up offering places for people to go.  The ones that touched me the most were the ones that were not only opening their homes to people but to their pets as well.  This desire to help continued to grow.  As people were allowed back into areas that had been flooded out it wasn’t only the residents that went back but volunteers also moved into the areas.  Adults and kids alike were all coming out and were willing to get dirty or even just bringing food, water and support to areas that now looked like war zones.  It was inspiring to hear the stories but I couldn’t have prepared at how wonderful it felt to actually experience this love and support.

On Tuesday (the 25^th) I went with my current house guest and good friend to her condo to offer any help that I could.  I was a little worried because I’m not the most physically fit and I certainly have no clue what to do with tools but I was willing to give it a shot.  When we arrived we quickly got to work cleaning up mud, water and random debris from her basement and garage area.  Time flew by surprisingly fast and although it was hard work it didn’t seem as bad as I was prepared for.  As the morning turned to afternoon it was time to take a break from the basement and that is when I first experienced some of the warmest and most sincere interactions I have ever known.  I do not always have the best luck with large groups of people but there were on insults tossed.  Instead I was greeted with so much support.  We got offers of food, water, and help.  There was even one gentleman walking around who stopped just to say hi and encourage us.  It reminded me that there are good people out there.  I will admit it renewed my belief that humans are capable of doing great and wonderful things.  It filled my heart with so much pride and joy it made the afternoon go by even quicker.  By the time I got home that night I felt completely exhausted and yet surprisingly rejuvenated all at the same time – it felt like a strange contradiction of emotions. 



Dirty never felt so good!

Helping out at my friend’s condo gave me a little bit of focus and distraction as I waited to hear what my future was going to look like.  I don’t live in an area that flooded but my office was right in the middle of it.  Holy Cross is actually only a few blocks from my friend’s condo so when I saw her basement I knew there wasn’t much hope for my building.  As the information came out we quickly learned that we did in fact end up with water in our basement which affected our servers which of course impacts on our phone system as well.  As the week has gone by there was much speculation about what was going to happen, where we were going to go and what we would be doing as things were fixed.  I’m not a huge fan of change and I’m even less happy about not knowing the details so I have found this week incredibly frustrating.  I give so much gratitude to the management and staff that were dealing with all the details but I hated not knowing.  The good news is we have a place to go now.  I’m not thrilled about the idea of the move because it is going to increase my commuting time but I keep reminding myself that it will be temporary and it could have been worse.  I mean at least I still have a job and there is somewhere for us to move to. 

 

I have to admit that after spending part of my afternoon grabbing stuff from my desk in the dark Holy Cross building I am feeling a little more grateful about how things have turned out.  We looked down the stairs and saw how high the water came up in our basement and I was shocked – I never considered work would actually get water even though it does sit right next to the river.  I know it’s a little crazy. 

A pitch black basement lit by a flash and a couple flashlights.

 

When I went to my desk I found myself getting a little more emotional though.  All around my desk I have pictures of friends, family and even what I call my wall of fame which consists of pictures from my meetings with famous people and as I looked at them in the glow of my flashlight I found myself reminded of what really matters.  It was one picture in particular that set me off.  Thursday morning I had actually just put up a new photo of me and my Nan and when I saw it I just knew that things would be ok.  Sure the next few weeks are going to be crazy and inconvenient but compared to so many people in this city I really have nothing to complain about.  I decided in that moment that I would look at this change as something positive and go into it with an open mind.

This week really has been a week of ups and downs but it is a week I will never forget.  In the end I know the memories that will stand out the most are the positive – the good will and love that fills this city and makes us who we are.  Life is starting to get back to normal, even if that normal is a little different than it was last week.