Taking My Own Advice

After my last blog entry I realized I really have to take the challenge of doing things i don't like or that make me feel uncomfortable and just do them not only in my weight loss journey but also in other aspects of my life.

For the last two years I have struggled at work. I have lost the love of the job that I used to have and it is because I have felt like I was not being respected, and that the knowledge that I have was being taken for granted. There have been many times I had sat down to write an email to my manager to explain what was going on and let her know about my frustrations. As always though I waited to send the email until I had calmed down, which also gave me time to talk myself out of saying anything. I would tell myself that it didn't matter and that as long as I'm doing the best job I can who cares. The problem was I cared and I cared a lot. Each time I talked myself out of saying something things would be ok and then I would forget about it. But gradually the distance in between my major frustrations began to shorten and I also started to realize it was having a direct impact on my job. So finally I sent one of the emails I had written and then sat down and talked with my manager. I feel incredibly lucky to have the manager I do. She is a wonderful person and is very fair. She listened to my frustrations and reassured me that I was of value. In the end I don't know if it will make any difference at work but it did make a difference in me. As soon as I talked to my manager it was like a huge weight was lifted off of my shoulders. Will this feeling last, who knows but at least now I know that I can express my opinion and be open and it won't be a bad thing.

I'm also proud of myself because in the last two weekends I survived the buffets at my Stage West and Rosebud season ticket performances. I still ate more than I should have I'm sure but I made a conscious effort to choose more of the correct choices and to limit the amount of food I put on my plate. I also did not pile my dessert plate full of treats for after dinner. It gives me hope for my upcoming trip to Vegas. I have decided that this time when I go to Vegas I do not want to gain weight. I'm determined to focus on enjoying my vacation by doing fun things not by eating. I'm ready to make the hard choices even when I'm on vacation and I know this will carry me through and help me get to my ultimate goals of 250 pounds lost.