The Search Begins

Well it has taken me a long time to make the decision but I have finally decided it is time to move on from my current job. I have spent a great deal of time thinking about it and trying to convince myself that it is not that bad and that I should stick it out. Finally this week I just woke up and realized it is time to move on. I have come to realize that although there are a lot of really good things with my job and benefits that I definitely appreciate, the overall job is toxic to me. I have never dealt well with drama and my job is full of it. Every day I go to work and it is like I'm being thrown back into high school. The whole floor spins with gossip and negativity and the sense of teamwork that once existed has long since disappeared. I'm sure things could change and come around but in the four years I've been there the good times are very much over powered by the bad. For every month of great atmosphere it seems to follow with four months of chaos and negativity.

It is weird for me because when I left Walmart it was a much more clear decision. I knew it was what I had to do and I knew that I was moving on to something better. I don't have that same sense right now with leaving screening programs. In my heart though I do know that although I may lose some of the benefits like my wage and my vacation time that I value, I have such potential to find something that will satisfy me on a mental level. I'm ready for a job that not only helps people but that will help me get closer to my goal of helping other people that are struggling with weight loss. I'm ready to leave behind paranoia and politics and find something that lets me make a difference one on one with people. A job where I don't have to pretend to be somebody and can actually let myself shine.

I do think that although I have made the decision I have enough will power in me to stick it out until the right job comes along to move in to. I do not want to just hop to another job for the sake of getting out but I want to move to a job that will help me move further in my life and goals. I know that in being so open about leaving it may cause me some issues but the people that matter have been told and are really supportive of helping me along the way.

The challenge now is being able to stay positive and on track with my weight loss in spite of the increased stress. Last week the stress finally snuck in on my weight loss or lack of. I put on 7 pounds (which really was a combination of a few things but a whole lot had to do with stress eating). I worked hard this week and lost 4.2 pounds of that 7 but it is still a set back. I have started working out as soon as I get home from work to try and help alleviate some of the negativity I bring home. It does seem to make a difference when it comes to my dinner. I just keep reminding myself that every day I have the ability to make the right choices and move further with my weight loss or I have the ability to let drama and stress help me sabotage myself. So I'm back to focusing on one day at a time and trying to be as positive as possible. The good news is I do feel better knowing that I'm actively looking to change my job and looking to better my life. I feel as though there is now a light at the end of the tunnel.

I think one of the biggest things I have learned so far in my weight loss journey is the ability to actually sit down and recognize what is going on. I can pinpoint my stress and other emotions, the things that I never used to deal with but would cause me to eat. Sure I still have moments where I chose eating over dealing but at least now I can say that I deal more than I eat when it comes to my emotions now. I share this struggle with all of you in hopes you will also discover ways to deal with the things that effect you. Be open to possibilities and know that there are always choices to be made. Those choices are all your own and you will always see the results of the choices whether they are positive or negative. We have the power to make our lives what we want them to be.

Ten Weeks to the New Year

As scary as it sounds it is now a little less then 10 weeks to 2011, and with that I have started on a 10 week challenge to end this year on a positive note and to start the new year off with a bang. I can't take credit for the idea, it came from a weight watchers meeting but I figure it's a great way to end the year and it also goes nicely with the monthly challenges I have been giving myself the last couple of months.

So the way it works...first come up with a list of 10 things you want to do (I will share mine after this) for the next 10 weeks. The first week (this week) you do the first thing on the list. Then the second week you do the first and the second things. You continue this until you hit week 10, adding in a new step each week until you are doing all 10. This will leave you ready to celebrate your new year on a positive note. In my goal to become more and more positive I figure if I end the new year on a positive note it will set me up to have a positive and good 2011. (Or at least that's the hope anyway.)

Anyway here is my list (it is weight watchers based in case you are wondering where some of them come from):
1. Work out at 3 times per week
2. Track my points every day (including Saturday's which was my day off)
3. Eat my 5-7 servings of fruit and vegetables every day
4. Up working out to 4 times per week
5. Go for a short walk each work day lunch hour
6. Drink a minimum of 6 glasses of water each day
7. Journal write (not my blog but my actual journal) at least twice a week
8. Have 3 servings of milk/milk products per day
9. Create a weekly menu - that I will actually use and follow
10. Lastly up my working out to at least 5 times per week.

On their own none of these are truely hard but all ten are things that I often struggle with. I know that if I can master all 10 and continue it in 2011 I'll be at my goal weight before I know it. So there you have it, another plan to help keep me motivated and pushing towards my health goals.

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

I just got back from spending the weekend down in Lethbridge and on the drive back I decided a good topic for this week’s blog was what I’m thankful for. I think we all tend to forget the things that matter the most and get hung up on the things we wish we had or that we think we are missing. I found that even this weekend when we are expected to think the things we are thankful for I was spending way too much time thinking about the things I wish I had so this is my correction to this and a reminder to myself of all the things that really matter in my life. Take a few minutes and take stock of the things that matter most in your life, everything else will seem a whole lot less important.

I’m thankful for
• My family – in spite of all the trouble we have getting along I really do have a great family
• My Nan – yes she is part of my family but at 91 she earns a special spot on the list
• My friends – although I don’t have a huge group of friends anymore I’m very grateful that I do have a handful of really great friends. (I’m especially grateful that they all put up with me sometimes disappearing on them once and a while)
• My kitties – I love them to pieces. The house would be pretty quiet and lonely without them.
• My job – even though it is not my dream job and half the time I would rather be anywhere else but there I am very glad to have a job

Those are the big things but I’m also thankful for my many little things like the fact my debt is going down, that I am slowly mastering the whole weight loss thing, that i’m not scared to try new things...even if it takes me a while to do it, my health and the fact that I rarely get sick, my plans for the future (even if they may not happen exactly the way I hope), the ability to keep falling for guys even though I keep swearing I won’t do it again – even if it rarely works out...LOL. I’m thankful for my ability to be empathetic and the fact that I still cry in all the sappy movies.

In the end I am thankful for everything that has been granted to me in this life. I will try hard to remember that although I don’t always get everything I hope and pray for, I have gotten everything that I need. Life is good.

New Motivation

Well it has been a busy month but I’m pleased to report I managed to complete my bet about not eating out for the month of September. It was actually way easier than I thought it would be. I haven’t done my total numbers in my budget yet to see how much it saved me but I know that it saved me money for sure. It also got me pre-planning meals and thinking ahead which has made grocery shopping way easier. I fully plan to continue the cooking on weekends and freezing food, even if I go back to letting myself eat out once and awhile again.

I also decided that since the first bet worked so well that I was going to try it again for October, with something that will be a bit more challenging. The new bet will not only save me money but it will also help me to get healthier and lose weight. I am giving up potato chips for one month. It will be tough but I know that I can totally do it. I survived my first shopping experience and just avoided the chip isle altogether. It felt pretty good to know that everything I bought was actual groceries rather than junk food.

The other thing that happened this month is I found a new source of motivation for getting healthier and losing weight. The best part is it even comes with its own built in reward. I have been planning to go back to Europe to do another tour and I found one with Leger (the company I used last time) that is a walking tour of the D-day beaches. It looks like you walk from the beach fronts back along the paths they would have taken the first few days after the D-day landings. Right now I know that I probably wouldn’t be able to manage the trip but if I go in spring 2012 that gives me about a year and a half to get in shape for it. I know that it would be a challenging vacation but I also know that I would love every minute of it. Since deciding this I have felt way more focused. I run the thought of the tour in my mind like a mantra and have even started writing it on the top of my grocery list to help me make the proper choices. I'm excited about this in the same way I was about my other tour. I can't wait to make it happen. I know that the only way it will happen however is if I do get healthier and in better shape because i refuse to be the person that can't keep up with the group. The only last hurdle after getting healthy will be that the trip is popular enough that it will still be running in 2012.