So Glad This Week Is Done

Well it's not Saturday but it was either write or eat the last of the sugar cookies I made for work and I figured writing was the better choice. This week has been the most emotionally and physically draining week I have had in a long time. It has been a struggle even to get my butt out of bed and working out well that certainly hasn't been up to my usual standards. I have never been so glad for a weekend as I am for this one. The best part is I have three days to relax and figure out how to make things easier.

I know some of you are probably wondering why my week was so bad and the simple truth is I don't really have an answer. I think I just need a break or a change or something in my life. I am starting to realize why I love writing though. When you write fiction if characters frustrate you, you can fix them. If you want something you can write it. Fantasy is so much easier than reality. LOL. Of course in a lot of ways I play a character in life. I think that is the hardest part of everything right now, I'm tired of playing a role. I want to be me, but me doesn't work...well at least not in some places. The harder I try to do things the right way, the worse things get so it makes me wonder why I even bother. So I keep playing a role until it cracks and then I seal up the cracks and go a little longer. Do you have any idea how hard it is to pretend to be something you aren't all the time? It's like walking on egg shells all the time, or like walking through a house of mirrors and not sure when you are going to run face first into one. I guess if you think of it that way it is no wonder I'm tired. The worst part of everything is I'm spending half my time wishing for the past. The funny part about that is the past wasn't really any better it just seems easier compared to how things are now. The only thing I know for sure is I have to find a constructive way to deal with all this extra negativity that is sneaking into my world because if my mood stays this way I will not get very far on my weight loss or any other goals in my world.

The good news is it's the weekend now and with that random nonsense rant out of the way I think I have let all the stuff out of my mind which means I should be able to have fun. I'm off to a good start having spent two hours laughing tonight, which was very much needed. For those of you who like me may be in the mood for some carefree movie viewing check out Hot Tub Time Machine. I know it seems silly but it is actually quite funny. Now I will spend the rest of my weekend watching John Cusack movies ;-). He is always good for a chick flick or two :-) I hope that you all have a very good Easter. I will update my weight on Saturday and if my mood has picked up I will write a more positive entry.