30 Days of Joy: Day 22/30

Day 22’s Joy – Finding a Camp Chair

As a bigger lady there are a lot of things I see people take for granted that I wish I could take for granted too.  One of those things that most people probably never even think about is sitting in a chair.  Chairs are one of my biggest sources of anxiety because I’m always terrified that when I sit down they are going to break.  I can’t wait for the day when I am light enough not to worry about weight restrictions on anything.  I know that it will be a great joy to be able to take for granted sitting.  With this in mind it is probably not all that surprising that finding a camp chair, that has a high enough weight limit that I will never need to worry, brought me a lot of pure joy yesterday.  It also made me surprisingly emotional and reflective.  Hehe!

I have often avoided things or told myself that I will do that when I’m smaller, lighter, etc.  These thoughts sometimes kept me from looking for ways that I could do things even at my size.  I have come to realize that I felt weirdly like I was giving up on my weight loss goals if I was finding ways to do something.  So for example hunting for a chair with a high weight limit was something I wouldn’t have done a few years ago because if I couldn’t use a regular chair then I wouldn’t use any.  I know it sounds pretty crazy right.  It took a long time to realize that what I was actually doing was punishing myself for not being like everyone else.  Once I started to realize what was going on in my head I started to work to change it.  It is okay to find ways to do what I love, like sitting around a campfire, no matter what size I am because I deserve to be able to live my life doing things I love no matter how I have to do them.

Working on changing my thinking may have helped me find a camping chair yesterday but it has also played a part in many of the other things I have started doing over the last few years.  Everything from taking up running to joining a gym to even just buying myself pretty dresses to wear are all things that have come from reframing how I look at myself.  I have been learning to love myself as I am in this moment, as I was in the past and as the person I’m becoming.  This lesson is quite honestly one of the biggest reasons that I can even attempt to do a 30 day challenge about joy.  This change is probably something that deserves its own blog entry but for now I’ll leave it here in my 30 day challenge.

I truly hope and wish that anyone reading this can find the joy of loving yourself.  Embrace it.  Buy a camping chair or a pretty dress or whatever makes you feel amazing and worthy because you are.  Don’t’ wait for some future version of yourself to embrace yourself.  You are amazing, beautiful and wonderful. 

Yesterday’s entry

Challenge Introduction/Day 1 

30 Days of Joy: Day 21/30

Day 21’s Joy – List Making and Planning

I have learned over the years that planning and list making are not for everyone.  Most people I know would not even think twice about really creating a plan or list for something and tend to wing it.  I however am a planner.  I love an excuse to break out a notepad to create a list or a plan for just about anything.  You may think I’m crazy but planning always brings me a great deal of joy and satisfaction.  I plan a lot of things in my life from my daily routines, to my scrapbooks but the best of all is getting to plan for a trip.  That is what brought my joy yesterday.

I’m getting ready to head off to camp with a friend and her kids.  I love camping but it just isn’t something that is much fun doing solo and the friends I typically travel with are not campers so it’s been a while since I had an excuse to break out my tent.  I actually think that the last time I went camping was about 12 years ago.  So with this upcoming trip I spent a bunch of time yesterday off and on planning and getting ready for it.  It started in the morning with some list making as I created a meal plan (smokies and s’mores baby…hehehe) and wrote out my packing list. 

The fun continued as I went hunting through the house and garage to see what camping supplies I actually have.  The best part of this was actually finding a tent that we thought had gone missing.  It’s a small family tent that is easy to set up and a decent size.  It thrills me to find it.  I wasn’t looking forward to trying to figure out how to set up an unknown tent.  Knowing the tent hadn’t been set up in ages I pulled it out and put it up to make sure it was in good condition.  I think the best part was in seeing the tent set up because it totally amped up my excitement.  Now there really isn’t anything in the way of this camping trip, or any future ones.

In the end, while a day of putting together the pieces needed for a successful trip might not be considered all that joyful by most, to me yesterday was a pretty perfect day.  I went to bed feeling the excitement of the pending trip.  Having all the parts and pieces in place makes my soul sing.  Making lists and planning might not be for everyone but it is one of the things that really fills me up and brings me joy.  Sharing this 30 day challenge reminds me that it’s always best to embrace the things that I love regardless of what other people may think.  Life is better when you follow you heart.

Saturday's Joy

Challenge Introduction/Day 1 

30 Days of Joy: Day 19&20/30

I didn’t have time to write an entry this morning because I had an early start to get to my Weight Watchers meeting and then to the gym.  It worked out for the best though because I’m really excited to write about today’s joy and Friday’s was pretty simple.  So once again I will combine two days together for this entry.

Day 19’s Joy – Homemade Real Iced Tea (Friday Jul 6)

Friday was the hottest day we have had of the year so far.  I don’t do well with heat, it has a tendency to leave me feeling a little cranky.  I knew finding joy was going to be a challenge so I opted for something simple.  When I got home from work I broke out my tea press.  I filled it with one of my favourite teas (watermelon) and a tray of ice.  Once the iced tea was made I headed out to sit on my front step.  I sipped the tea while watching my cat explore the driveway.  It was a pretty low key version of joy but it was an excellent start to my weekend.

Day 20’s Joy – Dance Like No One is Watching, Part 2 (Saturday Jul 7)

I had picked today’s activity as a source of my joy when I first started this challenge.  I wasn’t sure when I would squeeze it in but I knew that I wanted to try.  Today’s joy came in the form of an amazing workout doing a Zumba class that my gym offers.  I nearly chickened out of doing it but I’m so glad that I pushed myself to go in spite of my nerves and fears.

Although I have been a part of an exercise class before it is not my favourite thing in the world.  I tend to feel self-conscious and get stuck in my head thinking about all the things other people must think seeing me.  Of course over the years I have learned that the majority of people, if they are even looking at me at all, are actually more willing to cheer me on rather than any of the negative things I assume that they think about me.  Anyway two years ago my then trainer (now friend) convinced me to do this same Zumba class.  I felt brave having someone do it with me so it felt less nerve wracking.  What I remember the most about this first time doing the class was that as tough as it was I had a smile the whole time.  It was the memory that made me want to try it again in hopes of recreating the moment.

I got to the gym early so I hopped on the treadmill and did my usual 30 minutes before the Zumba class was supposed to start.  Knowing that I had already done a work out, added to the fact I was enjoying a conversation with a couple of the trainers, I started to think about not doing the class and just heading home.  From the weight floor you can see into the gym and the class didn’t look very full.  I was worried about standing out.  But in the end I summoned my courage and told myself that as long as I can start the class I will be okay.  I headed down and found a spot in the back.  At first I was super aware of everyone around me but by the time the first song was over I didn’t care.  I spent the next hour attempting to not trip over my feet, move my hips and keep some sort of rhythm.  It was fantastic.

There is a lot to be gained from doing something that is outside of your box.  I’m really trying to embrace the idea of doing things that scare me and push me.  I don’t really have the right words to describe the level of joy, excitement and pure sassy confidence that I felt during the class as well as all day since it.  The smile I found within the gym walls has been plastered on my face all day. 

I hope that everyone can find something that makes them feel as amazing and wonderful as Zumba did for me today.

Yesterday’s entry

Challenge Introduction/Day 1

30 Days of Joy: Day 18/30

Day 18’s Joy – Spending Time Walking with a Friend

It may seem rather obvious that time spent with friends would bring joy into my day and although I have written about it a couple times already in this challenge, I think that I often take it for granted that I actually need time being social.  It’s really easy for me to get caught up in doing things on my own and spending time by myself because I’m incredibly comfortable doing it.  Don’t get me wrong, I love all my friends and spending time with them but it is not always something I go out to my way to seek.  That is part of why I have tried to make reaching out a goal for this year as well as trying to include some friend time in this 30 day challenge.

Yesterday’s joy was some of that friend time.  I went out at lunch for a walk with a friend and coworker who has been off for a month travelling through France.  Getting out and away from my desk at lunch, I’m learning always brings me joy but getting to do it with someone else makes it even better.  It was great to catch up and hear about her trip.  It had me thinking about and remembering my own trip to France.  As a lover of travel there is something very satisfying when I get to think about travelling.    I also love hearing about other people’s adventures.  It was a fabulous way to spend a lunch hour.

It is super easy for me to fall on the excuse that I’m an introvert and prefer my own company to avoid getting out there and being social.  Finding joy in being social is helping me to re-write that way of thinking though.  As I’m getting closer to the end of the challenge, it is a good reminder that I need to make sure I always make time in my crazy life for being social and spending time with the people that matter the most to me.

I will end this blog with a Winnie the Pooh quote that I find rotating in my brain this morning.  “A day without a friend is like a pot without a single drop of honey left inside.”  My wish is that everyone reading this will always find your pot of honey full.   Happy Friday!

Yesterday’s Joy

Challenge Introduction/Day 1 

30 Days of Joy: Day 15, 16 and 17/30

With this entry I have finally caught myself back up to current again. It makes me so happy to be able to post as I experience my joys.  It’s a great feeling as I slowly make my way through the back half of this 30 day challenge.

Day 15’s Joy – Scrapbooking and Gift Anticipation (Monday Jul 2)

Today was filled with simple pleasures as I settled back into the real world again.  I enjoyed an afternoon nap in my own bed, cuddling with Zoe, who is always extra needy when I’ve been away, and just getting myself ready to head back to work.  My joy for the day though came from something I have written about before…scrapbooking.

I broke out all my Alaska memorabilia, postcards, patches, cruise schedules and all the random stuff I gathered while I was travelling knowing it would be put into two books – one for me and one for mom.  I love this part of the scrapbooking process.  It’s when I start to really get a vision for how the books will look.  It is also when I start to write the stories that go with the photos and extras.  This in itself brings me a lot of joy.  It is pretty amazing to get to lose yourself in memories of a great trip.

There is some added joy though because in this case I know that I will be giving one of the books I create to my mom.  This adds even more importance and meaning to creating the books.  It stretches the joy because not only am I getting a lot of it from using my creative side, but I also get it from imagining mom’s reaction when she finally gets to look through it.  Thinking about that reaction is what is bringing me the most joy today.  It excites me and pushes me to work harder and faster on the books.

Day 16’s Joy – Dance Like No One is Watching (Tuesday Jul 3)

I often find the most joy when I just give in to my whims.  If something makes me feel silly or laugh I often describe it as being ‘pure Jill’ and that was the case for my joy today.  Part of this challenge was to find more ways to bring joy into my life and one area that has been in need of a revamp for a while has been my exercise.  So I used today’s intentional joy to push myself to doing something I haven’t done in ages but that always leaves me feeling amazing…dancing.

I decided to put on my favourite tank top, one that I never wear to the gym because it makes me feel naked, but at the same time when I wear it I feel like I could take on the world.  Dressed and ready to go I pulled off my socks, turned on my Wii and played a little Just Dance.  I had my volume up and threw myself into the moves 100%.  I am not very graceful or coordinated but I have so much fun doing it.  It was the perfect way to not only find a little joy but to also get my sweat on for the night.  It was a good reminder to myself that working out doesn’t have to be work.

Day 17’s Joy – Stretch it Out (Wed Jul 4)

Much like my joy from Tuesday, yesterday I also decided to continue to try and bring the joy back to my workouts.  I actually spent much of yesterday trying to decide what I wanted to do for my joy.  I thought about going to the gym, going for a walk but in the end I decided it was time to do something I haven’t done in eons, yoga.  I pulled out my yoga mat and a dvd and got setup in my living room.  It was a workout that made me sweat and smile all at the same time.

I think the most interesting part of doing yoga last night was how wonderful it felt mentally.  I suspect that all the work I have been doing the last 7 or so months working on meditating had something to do with that.  I was able to really zone in to my body and really feel the energy flowing through it.  It was pretty amazing.  Of course my flexibility and balance are lacking after such a big break from yoga but my ability to laugh at myself is definitely still strong.  

The calm and joy I found last night while pushing my body carried over to this morning.  I woke up feeling great.  Yoga will definitely end up on my list of things that bring me joy.  It is something I plan to start regularly practicing again. 

Looking at these couple of days, I’m realizing how much I’m learning that sometimes the best way to find a little joy is to just indulge yourself with the things you love, no matter what they are.  I challenge anyone reading this to go out and do one thing today that you really love.  Drop me a comment and let me know what you do to find a little joy in your day.  I would love to hear what brings other people joy.

Challenge Introduction/Day 1  

30 Days of Joy: Day 12, 13 and 14/30

It is way more fun to write and post my current days of joy then playing catch up so with that in mind I have shortened my entries for the days while I was away in order to share them more quickly.  Happy reading.

Day 12’s Joy – A Fire and a Good Book (Fri Jun 29)

There is something that feels incredibly luxurious and decadent about getting to spend an entire evening sitting in front of a fireplace.  At King’s Fold they have a beautiful library with comfy chairs and a couch and a real wood fireplace.  This has become my favourite evening spots.  After dinner I tend to head down with whatever book I’m reading and start the fire. 

I have learned that one of the things that brings me the most joy is when I can slow down and just enjoy the moment and a fire does that for me every time.  I find I often lose track of time as I can spend hours just watching the fire flicker.  Even if I’m lost in the pages of a good book, the smell and sound of a fire relaxes me.  It is warm, cozy and just feels right.  It was a beautiful way to end my night and a great way to bring some joy into the day.

Day 13’s Joy – A Sunrise (Sat Jun 30)

Often when I’m away I will plan to get up early and set an alarm so that I can watch the sun come up. It is a great way to start a day.  This trip however I wasn’t planning on doing it, mostly because with the damp weather and all the clouds I didn’t expect much from a sunrise.  Well apparently my body had other plans because I woke up early today.  When I looked out the window the fog in the river valley looked amazing.  I decided I wanted to take some pictures so I quickly got dressed and headed outside.

I wandered over to the edge of the valley, dried off a seat and decided to just soak it in.  At 530am even though there were lots of people at the retreat center, not a soul was up or stirring.  It was beautiful, quiet and serene.  The only sounds were the birds calling to each other and the hum of the river flowing by below me.  I just sat and watched the fog flow down the valley.  I was lost in the beauty of it. 

One of the coolest things about the view at King’s Fold is that while the sun actually rises behind you the sunrise is reflected on the mountains in front of you.  The sky this morning took on the faintest shade of pink as the sun rose higher but better than the sky is actually what happens to the mountains.  As the sun comes up you get to watch the mountains turn from grey to a beautiful pink to a wonderful pinky orange colour before turning back to the bright grey.  I have watched this happen many times over the years but it never grows old.  It is a view that inspires me.  With the fog and the mountains this morning it felt like a magical start to my day.  It is the kind of joy that pours into your soul and makes the rest of the day echo it.

Day 14’s Joy – My Favourite Bench & the Sun (Sun Jul 1)

Much like my evening in front of the fireplace, sometimes the simple things bring me the most joy.  Slowing down and just enjoying the moment is one of the pleasures I revel in when I’m away.  After a fairly rainy and cool weekend when the sun came out and warmed things up a bit I knew what I wanted my last joy of my vacation to be.  There is a spot that I love, that is a short walk away from the house.  It’s on top of the ridge near a small chapel that has been built in the woods.  There is a bench that sits right on the edge of the path and it is always surrounded by beautiful wild flowers that attract all the butterflies.

When I first found the spot it was because it had the best cell service, hehe.  It took me a few visits before I was able to go out to King’s Fold and disconnect more completely so this spot felt like a guilty pleasure spot at first.  Now however I love this spot because it is so quiet.  It seems like an area that not many of the guests seem to make use of so rarely is there anyone to distract me.  It has become the place that I go to when I just want to let my mind wander.  I have come up with lots of good ideas in this spot which is probably why it has become associated with joy for me. 

Today while I was there soaking up the sun, I found myself thinking a lot about this 30 days of joy challenge.  Two weeks in and I’m finding it quite amazing at how much happier I feel but more than that I’m surprised at how much I was taking things for granted before.  There is much more joy in my life and inspiration in my life than I realized.  I’m learning to find joy daily, sometimes all it takes is to stop, soak up the sun, watch the butterflies and just be in the moment.  It’s a pretty amazing thing to learn.

Challenge Introduction/Day 1   

30 Days of Joy: Day 10 & 11/30

I’m back!  After a very relaxing extra-long weekend at one of my favourite places it’s now time to play a little catch up.  Finding joy was pretty easy to come by the last few days but I wanted to make sure that I kept on track for my challenge by being a little more intentional about it.  I tried to decide what would bring me joy each day, although sometimes it was still the unplanned that brought it into my day the most.  I also wanted to make sure that I was keeping up with the challenge of daily blogging so although I wasn’t publishing it I still kept writing the entries each night.  Now that I’m back I will share those entries a couple at a time until I get myself caught back up.  Happy reading!

Day 10’s Joy – Deep Conversations with a Friend (Wed Jun 27)

As I transition to a laidback vacation version of myself I know the next few days finding joy will be a little easier.  Today I found my joy having a discussion with the friend who came with me to King’s Fold this time.  The night we arrive we have created a tradition where we bring our dinner with us and then go and find a room to have our ‘picnic’.  The conversations we have during this shared meal are often quite varied but always a good way to start our retreat.

Today the discussion turned to my Miracle Morning practices because I had recommended that she read the book by Hal Elrod and she had brought it with her to read while we were on retreat.  She was curious about what all I have gotten out of the practice since starting it.  This actually led to a bigger conversation about the concept/idea of the law of attraction. 

Just getting to openly discuss some of the ideas I have been reading about as I continue to learn about myself is special.  I don’t often openly share some of the ideas I have been exploring for fear that people will start to think I’m getting to be a little out there.  When I can find someone who shares some of the same beliefs it feels amazing to talk about it.  I gain so much out of conversations like this.  I get to explore my thoughts and in trying to communicate those thoughts I find that I’m able to gain more clarity around them.  It also just feels good to connect with someone and to find that maybe your ideas aren’t so crazy or out there after all.

One of the things I have been actively working on this year is connecting more with people.  I often keep myself from sharing my thoughts and ideas for fear of the reaction people will have.  This year really pushing against that fear has been showing me that it’s actually okay to let people in and let the true Jill come out.  It has been amazing to experience.  So this conversation was the perfect way to find some joy in the day and in my own growth.  I can’t think of a better way to start what will likely be quite a reflective vacation.

Day 11’s Joy – Enjoying a Silent Lunch (Thurs Jun 28)

My joy today surprised me a lot.  Have you ever shared a meal with other people in silence?  It is an experience that is hard to put into words.  When I woke up this morning I knew that the lunch would be a challenge for me but I also decided that I would try and make it my joy for the day.  In the end it was a beautiful meal and proved that you can find joy in anything if you have the right mindset.

The very first time I did a silent lunch was maybe on my second visit to King’s Fold about 4 years ago.  I can still picture it like it was yesterday.  There was a big thunderstorm outside which was actually pretty amazing but changed things a bit.  I had been told typically people get a tray and go off on their own during a silent lunch but the because of the rain most people seemed to stay in the dining room.  I can’t remember all that we were served that day but I do remember the fresh cut veggies.  It was really hard for me not to giggle as all you could hear was the crunching of carrots.  It was an experience that I will never forget.  I did feel bad though because it felt like I wasn’t giving the experience the proper respect.  Since that first silent lunch I have actively avoided being out at KF on a Thursday so that I could avoid the practice, until this visit.

Leading up to the vacation I was nervous about participating in a silent lunch again. The amazing thing was that I didn’t need to worry.  My experience this time around was completely different.  Going in with the mindset that this would bring me joy helped me to enjoy the meal and the experience.  I was open to whatever was about to happen and in the end I loved the meal today.  Sitting in silence listening to the sounds of the dining room was pretty cool.  The energy in the room was warm and comfortable.  I felt connected to everyone in a way I can’t really describe. 

The amazing part of the experience was realizing that I’m actually a lot more comfortable with silence than I was 4 years ago.  The first time I found myself constantly worrying and feeling self-conscious about how loud I was being.  It’s hard to enjoy something when you are hyper aware of how loud you are and stuck in your head worrying what people are thinking about you.  This time though because of my meditation practices I was able to turn that worry off and just relax into the beauty of silence.  The world looks and sounds different when you stop the spinning thoughts in your brain and just exist in the moment.  It felt like pure joy to me.   

I’m so grateful to get to try a silent lunch again.  It was an amazing experience to teach me how much I’m learning about  myself and what will bring me joy.

Thank you to everyone still reading these entries and asking me about them.  I'm loving this challenge.

Challenge Introduction/Day 1