Ready or Not, 10K Try Number Two

It’s official, I have registered for the Scotiabank Calgary Marathon Jugo Juice 10K once again.  I have known since I tapped out of last year’s attempt that I would go back and try again.  Yet it has taken me forever to actually convince myself to register.  I completely admit that dragging my feet was entirely because I have a large amount of fear now around the 10k distance.

Last year was heartbreaking and tough for me.  You can read about it here.  The sense of disappointment I felt last year is still just as strong as I write this blog entry now.  The biggest reason for taking so long to register for the race is honestly because I’m terrified that when I make my second attempt at this distance that I won’t be able to do it and have to quit again.  I’m not sure I can handle failing for a second time which is why the only solution is that I just can’t quit this time.

I am already working hard to making 2018 my best and most successful year yet.  Part of that success definitely needs to be checking the 10K off of my to-do list.  When looking back over the events of last year, one of my biggest issues was the lack of consistency leading up to the race.  My training was all over the place as was my commitment to eating well.  I spent all my time saying next week will be better until I was out of weeks.  I am not doing that this year.

Already in place to make me more successful this year is tracking my food.  I can confidently say that I’m back to regularly tracking all the food that I’m eating.  About 6 weeks ago the Weight Watcher’s program changed a bit and when it did I made the decision to embrace it and really apply myself again to the program.  Since then I have not missed a single day of tracking.  In the past 6 weeks, although I may have missed some snacks and guessed at some points for others, my tracking has been solid.  With solid tracking I have been once again seeing my weight start to come steadily down again.  This is a huge win that will help me so that on May 27^th I will be as small as I can get between now and then.

With my food under control I am turning my attention to my actually training plan.  I am going to be running three times a week and going for distance walks once a week.  For the past 3 months I have been working to make sure I’m including some form of physical activity in each of my days.  I’m not always 100% compliant but I have begun to re-establish that sense of routine of exercise into my life.  What is still in much need of work though is getting back to the gym regularly again.  There was a time I considered myself a bit of gym regular.   I knew lots of people and felt like I belonged.  I’m not there right now though.  That will be changing again though.  I want to be a fixture again.  I want to be noticed and seen there.  I want to make sure that when it comes to the race I will be able to confidently say that I did all the training I could and that I’m as strong as I possibly can be.

I have 18 weeks to get myself race ready.  I have 18 weeks to channel my terror in a positive direction so that I can rewrite that voice in my head that still plagues me with doubt.  I have 18 weeks to correct the things that I did wrong last year in my training.  I have 18 weeks to get my game face on.  It is probably not surprising that I feel like the next 18 weeks are going to be terrifying but that they will also be 18 weeks that will be working to create a stronger, more confident version of myself. 

2018 10K or Bust!

Big Expectations – Welcome 2018!

I have to say that 2017 was a pretty interesting year.  It was a year that was full of a lot of good but still mixed with some hard lessons.  I feel like it was a year of rebuilding, relearning and rediscovering myself.  I think though it also set a really good foundation for 2018, which I think will be my best year yet.  It will at the very least be one of my most ambitious years.

Last year I created a list of 17 goals to complete in 2017.  If you want to see the original list you can look here.  It was an ambitious list much like my new 2018 one is but sadly I wasn’t able to accomplish as much of it as I would like.  Rather than talking about all of the goals I figured I would just share a few from the list that stand out for me, both good and bad though are as follows:

1. Meet my great nephew – Mathew was born happy and healthy on Feb 8^th.  It has been amazing to watch him grow the last 11 months as well as to see my youngest niece learn and grow as a mother.  He is an adorable, happy little baby and a great addition to our family.

2. Do a 10k Run – I really wanted to be able to say I completed this goal however it was not meant to be.  It ended up being one of my biggest disappointments to date in my life.  You can read about  my attempt here but long story short the weather was too warm and the start time too late so I didn’t think I could safely complete the race and ended up quitting.  The disappointment has helped to motivate me though so I expect when I repeat the race this year the outcome will be different.

3 and 4. Read 52 books and try 52 new recipes – I gave these a valiant effort.  I got more than half way through the recipes but then stopped counting.  For books I managed to read 40 of them.  I got a little bogged down when I decided to tackle Stephen King’s It. 

Aside from my list of goals, 2017 proved to be a tricky year for me emotionally in a lot of ways.  The start of the year was still fairly overshadowed as I was still trying to process and work my way through the grief of losing Nan in 2016. Of course there was the disappointment of the 10k race but this was also followed by an amazing road trip to Banff and Jasper with some girlfriends.  As summer faded to fall I enjoyed more joy as I headed on another cruise to Alaska with my Mom.  As fall became winter the mood shifted once again as I had to face some hard truths about my own lifestyle and my health while also being reminded that my parents may not be as young as I like to think of them.  All in all it was quite an up and down sort of year but I really do feel that it has let me grow more and surprisingly find a greater acceptance of who I am and what I want out of life. 

I’m incredibly grateful for all the things that 2017 taught me but I’m also ready to say goodbye to it so I can really test myself and see what I’m capable of in 2018.  So as ambitious as last year’s goals were, this year I have picked even more things to focus on.  I might regret it but I have set 21 goals for myself this year.  The difference this year over last year though is that I actually have timelines and plans for each goal.  I have built them into my everyday life so that when I get to the end of the year hopefully I will see a lot more completed goals.  Here are this year’s lofty goals.

1. As much as possible say yes to all invites that come my way.  (2017 I was feeling quite disconnected from friends and family and this year I want to change that.)

2. Send something (card, letter, postcard etc) to someone each week in the mail.  (I want to spread a little positivity and random fun.)

3. Do my Miracle Morning routine daily.  (This comes from the book Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod which I totally recommend reading.)

4. Read 6 ‘self-help’ style books.  (I want to work hard at improving myself this year.)

5. Run and complete my 10K come back race.  (Yep I’m heading back to the Calgary Scotiabank Marathon to try again, hopefully with much better results.)

6. Lose 100 pounds.  (This in itself is a lofty goal and it has been a long time since I set a weight related goal but I’m ready to really push myself.)

7. Pay off my Visa completely.  (It is super close and it all helps me get a little closer to being able to buy the home that I want.)

8.  Review/create a new budget to make sure it still matches my needs and then review it weekly to ensure I continue to stay on track.  (I have been working very hard at this goal since last year and it will continue to be a priority as I work towards owning my first home.)

9. Spend time each month practicing & working on my photography.  (I really enjoy this and feel like it needs to be something that is a major part of my life so I might as well get good at it.)

10. Spend time each week working on my novel.  (I haven’t spent as much time as I would like really working on my stories or my creative writing and that needs to change.)

11. Write a blog entry each week.  (I suspect this will actually be a challenging one for me but I have faith that with a little effort I can get it done.)

12. Clean, organize and pack up the house.  (This was on last year’s list and although it has been started I’m not anywhere near where I want to be so this year once again I’m going to keep working on it.)

13. Create a weekly cleaning schedule and follow it.  (This goes with 12 because the only way I can find time to do extra organizing is if I have all the other stuff done first.)

14. Finish all my half-finished scrapbooks.  (I think I have 4 books that are in progress and I want them to go away so that I can really work at catching up so that I’m able to work at scrapbooking current photos.)

15. Read 52 books (includes the 6 self-help).  (I’m determined that this will happen one of these years so it might as well be this year…hehehe.)

16. Get out once a week around people to do something I enjoy.  (This goes with my plan I have come up with to stop worrying about find a boyfriend and just enjoying life and embrace any connections that happen to come my way.)

17. Volunteer.  (This was on the 2017 list and I even had the chance to do it through work but sadly I ended up with a nasty cold and so I had to miss out when my team went but this year I will make it happen.)

18. Put aside $20/paycheck to use for some extra donations at Christmas.  (I’m not sure if I’ll adopt a second family or do some shoeboxes but I know that I want to give back more.)

19.  Practice daily gratitude.  (I have been keeping a gratitude jar for 3 years now so I’m not about to break that routine this year.)

20.  Practice daily meditation/silence.  (This is part of the miracle morning routine but also something I’m very much enjoying.  I want to ensure that I continue with it so it gets its own spot on the list.)

21. Find and make 52 new recipes.  (Yep I brought this one back again because I was having so much fun with it last year so I figured I might as well try it again.)

So there you have it.  I’m really going to be pushing myself this year but I’m also incredibly excited about it.  I look forward to getting to the end of 2018 and being able to look back and have a list of accomplishments to share.  I also look forward to reaching the end of the year even more confident in who I am and what I’m meant to do in this world.

It may be a week and a bit late but I do want to wish you all a very happy new year.  May you find much success, love and happiness in the upcoming year!  Much love and gratitude to all!