Back and Blogging Once Again

Well after three months of silence I have decided it is more then time to return to my efforts on my blog. Like many, the last three months were crazy busy with the build up to Christmas then of course dealing with the holidays and then the fight to get everything back on track in January. Amongst all the normal craziness Weight Watchers changed their program which also meant I felt like I was starting over with my weight loss journey, having to learn everything all over again. But now all that aside I am back and ready to share.

The last three weeks have been exciting for me. I have finally fully implemented and accepted the changes to Weight Watchers. The best part is how good it has made me feel. In truth although the program is completely different in a lot of ways it is still the same. I'm not going to go into specifics because if you really want to know about it there are better sources on it but what I will say is that I love it. Although my weight was up this week (only .8 of a pound) I have been feeling like I have more control in my choices. I also find that I'm more empowered to be able to make better choices.

All of that aside what I want to share tonight actually comes from my actual paper journal. Maybe it's just because the entry means a lot to me but I thought maybe others may wish to read it as well. So here it is:

I was just in the shower when a thought occurred to me. I was thinking about Weight Watchers and my story & journey. I know I sometimes get frustrated with how long it is taking me but it just popped that it really isn't surprising. As of Mar 12,2009 when I rejoined Weight Watchers and weighed in at 405 pounds I had spent nearly 30 years making bad lifestyle choices and not taking care of myself. Sure some of the time I had bursts of trying to do the right thing and in there my parents also had a role both in setting some of my bad habits as well as trying to fix them but in the end it all added up to 30 years (well 29 years and 10 months) and 405 pounds. Since that first weigh in when my whole reality crashed in on me I have been working to change my whole life. I am having to retrain my mind, body and soul to be able to move forward. I had no frame of reference for myself being healthy so I had no experience to draw on. I also had a great deal of fear which now makes sense. I was moving in a completely unknown direction which can be scary for any of us.

I find myself thinking all this because I was up .8 pounds today. It bugs me a little that I am struggling but it makes sense for me to struggle. I have to completely change my entire life and thought processes. Not an easy thing to do even if you haven't been dealing with these things forever. The flip side though is really how much I have changed in two years. I make considerably more healthy choices. Fruits and veggies are included every day now. I'm not eating bags upon bags of chips. Most of all I have realized how important being active really is to me. In the last two years I have hiked a mountain with my dad, which is something I hadn't done since I was a teen. I spent a summer rollerskating and now I can even add jogging to that list.

I have no reason to feel frustrated at my progress and looking at it like this has reminded me just how far I really have come. My life has been forever changed from that weigh in nearly two years ago. I may only be down 26ish pounds but I have come a long way.

I know many of my friends who are also working on changing their lives are feeling frustrated and struggling. I think this is a natural frustration come February as the motivation of new years resolutions starts to fade and the real work begins. Don't let it get to you though...take some time and look back on your own journey. Find the things that really have changed and even if you think nothing has changed think about the knowledge you have gained. None of us stay static in life, we all grow each and ever day. We are not the same person we were yesterday and we will not be the same person tomorrow. We just have to keep working on ourselves to find the truths that lie within our souls.