2014 Monthly Goal Check-In for April/May

Wow is all I can say about the last two months.  I have had some amazing moments in those months and have been kept fairly busy.  I have been adapting to a fuller schedule as I continue on my journey to become healthier.  I am loving life right now though and wake up each morning with a smile on my face, even though I am waking up at the crack of stupid.

If you want to read a bit more about my resolutions feel free to check out my previous posts:

New Year’s Resolutions Past and Present (the first post)

2014 Monthly Goal Check-In for March

1) Move More/Lose More
I am feeling the most proud of this goal right now.  I am consistently hitting 10,000 steps each day and on at least half of the week I am also hitting over 11,000.  The biggest change in the last two months with this goal is the fact that I joined the gym and am going most mornings to use the treadmill.  It is a bit challenging especially on weekdays because in order to get the work out in before starting my job, I’m getting up at 4:30am.  I will admit that there are days I question my sanity and my drive to do this but what has kept me going is the knowledge that the more work I do now the easier it is going to be to do my first 5K in September.  I have taken to visualizing how good it is going to feel when I cross the finish line to help keep me moving.  It makes even the hardest days on the treadmill a little bit easier.

I’m also incredibly excited with the ‘lose more’ part of this goal.  In the last two months I have done extremely well with my weight loss.  Since the middle of April, when I started regularly going to the gym, my weight has for the most part been steadily going down.  The total weight loss for 2014 now stands at 14 pounds (with 10.9 of that being lost in since the middle of April).  I also hit a huge personal milestone this month and finally lost all the weight I had gained when my friend Will passed away.  You can read about that here. 

2) One Day a Week Vegetarian
The last couple of months have been bad for this goal.  As my schedule has gotten busier and my time shorter I have to admit that my meal planning has lacked a bit.  As soon as meal planning lacks my meat free days tend to fall to the sidelines because I don’t have as many recipes yet that I can just make at the drop of hat and know that I will love.  I am trying though and have made it my mission to get back to full meal plans each week instead of the quick ones I have been doing which will also mean getting back to my meat free days.

3) Regular Blog Posts
Writing blogs much like meal planning has been a challenge.  I am learning that I have far too many hobbies and things going on in my life to keep up with it all without plans in place.  I’m working on find a new balance that will let me get the things I really want to do done.  So for the month of June my mission for this particular goal is to post a blog entry once a week which will mean 5 entries including this one – only four more to go.

4) 365 Photo-a-Day Project
I am very happy that this goal is still running along smoothly.  I have continued to take photos each day and have started the process of getting them turned into digital pages that I can print.  I really do love this project and I love looking back on my 2013 pages.  As a side I also finished the last of my 2013 pages so I just have to send them off and I can officially say last year’s project is done.

5) Read 50 Books
I am now up to 18 books read this year, which apparently puts me 2 books behind schedule for hitting my 50 by the end of the year.  This doesn’t worry me yet because I think I’m still doing better than I was last year at this time.  I have been reading quite a mix of books and have found a few new favourites in the last two months.  The two that stand out most in my brain are The Fault in Our Stars by John Green and Skinny by Donna Cooner.  Both were easy reads but both had me in tears at the end for different reasons.  I am continuing to make reading a priority and try to read at least a chapter a day.  In order to hit my goal though I really need to spend a little more time reading on my weekends so that shall be the plan for June.

6) Nanowrimo challenge Complete a Draft of Conor’s Story
Well I attempted to do the Nanowrimo challenge in April but just didn’t have enough time to get it done.  I may have done better if I had used Conor’s story rather than the story that came from my dream but oh well.  I did learn that I really am a planner.  As interesting as it was to try and write a story I hadn’t planned I struggled a great deal with it.  I like to know the story fairly well before I try to write it so that when I start writing it just flows.  This allows me to feel like I’m making progress and not just messing around.  It is not a complete loss though because at least now I know how to best channel my creativity to get results.  It is all about outlining and planning.  I’m just a geek that way I guess.  Hehe!

As for Conor’s story well sadly I haven’t had much of a chance to work on it, well at least not with pen and paper anyway.  I have discovered that the treadmill is a great place to work on the ideas in my head.  I am slowly filling my phone up with notes taken while I’m walking.  It has been pretty wonderful.  When I get the chance to sit down with Conor’s story I feel like it will flow well.

At the end of March I wrote that I was feeling excited about the way my life was going.  I was looking forward to starting at the gym and I have to say that the last couple of months have not disappointed.  I have been feeling strong, positive and driven.  I have been feeling like I can take on any task that I come up with and that I will find success.  I am amazed in a lot of ways how truly positive I feel about everything right now.  It gives me hope that this year really will be the best year of my life to date.

A Personal Weight Loss Milestone

Today was an emotional and exciting day for me.  I achieved a personal goal that has been a long time in coming.  In August 2011 I lost one of my best friends, Will, and although I couldn’t see it at the time the year that followed was incredibly hard for me.  I continued to go to my Weight Watchers meetings but my heart and soul wasn’t in it and slowly over the year that followed I began to put on weight.  In May 2012 I went to a memorial for Will in Iowa and during the long drive there and back (5000km roundtrip) I spent a lot of time thinking.  By the time I got back home I had made the decision to change my life and get back on track.  Well it has taken me two years to finally be able to write this blog entry but as of today I am officially back below the weight I was when Will died.  It has been a long journey but I have never felt prouder of myself than I did this morning.

 

It hasn’t been the easiest of journeys for me.  In fact I have never really struggled to lose weight when I’m working out and following plan but it has been different in the last couple of months.  I have been getting close to this milestone since Christmas.  I was able to get within about 2 pounds of it but then would have a set back and I would gain a few pounds.  It went back and forth like this until I went on a small trip to Kingsfold with a friend.  It is a retreat center where you can go and disconnect from things like electronics and focus on yourself.  The second night I was there I went for a walk and found a quiet bench to sit on.  I felt like Will was with me, which is something I hadn’t felt since he died, and in that moment I realized something.  I wasn’t hitting my weight loss goal because part of me wasn’t really ready to let go of it.  I gained that weight as a way to deal with my grief and letting it go was like really letting go of my best friend and saying good-bye.  As soon as I realized that, something clicked in my brain and I knew it was silly.  Since then minus a couple of small gains my weight has been slowly going down again including today where I hit the goal.

 

At my Weight Watchers meeting today, my leader asked how it felt to finally reach this goal and I got choked up because it was a huge weight off my shoulders.  Letting go of the weight is also letting go of any grief that might still be sticking around.  I will always miss Will.  My life was forever changed because I had him in it.  He taught me so much about myself.  He showed me that there are people out there that will accept me for who I am not for the person I think people want me to be.  I know now though that moving on with my life is not letting him go but it is finding a way to honour him by reaching for all my goals because he was always my biggest cheerleader and that’s what I think he would have wanted for me.

 

Reaching this milestone is just one of the many that I have to mark this journey I’m on but it feels huge.  I still have a long way to go but finally I feel like I’m back on the track I was before my world derailed.  I know that there will still be bumps and curves in the track but I have also learned that I can handle it.  I am learning to trust my instincts, my body and my mind and as long as I keep listening I know they will guide me where I need to go.  I also know that as long as I’m working towards the things that matter most to me, Will would be cheering me on.  He only ever wanted me to be the best that I can be and I am finally doing it.

 

I used this quote in a blog I wrote about Will, I think it came from a card but I wanted to share it because it rings true to me today more than ever, “When a good bye is so unexpected and sudden, when the pain seems unbearable and the loss impossible it is the wise heart that knows that sometimes it has to look back and remember in order to look forward and hope.”

 

Related Blog Entries:

Remembering Will

I'm Back

A New Mission: 35 Firsts

I love setting goals for myself which probably isn’t a shock if you have been reading my blog this year.  There is something very satisfying about having a purpose, something to work towards and although I tried to fight against it for a long time I have come to realize it really does help to make me feel good.  It helps keep me moving forward and working to live the life that I have always wanted.  So it is with this in mind that I came up with a new mission as a way to celebrate my 35^th birthday.  Between now and my 36^th birthday I am going to try and experience 35 firsts.  I’m not sure if it is possible but I’m excited to try and really even if I don’t succeed I’m still going to have a whole bunch of new experiences to add into my world.

This whole mission came about after having a conversation with my Nan.  She is 60 years older than me (making her 95).  When I was visiting with her shortly after her last birthday she said how she got all these cards about turning 95.  I proceeded to tell her that she was wrong she was only 94 to which of course she assured me she was in fact now 95.  The reason for the confusion is that I was positive I was only turning 34 this year.  Somehow I had lost a year and/or forgotten my last birthday.  That realization made me want to do something special this year so that I would remember it.

The thought was still running around in my mind as I was working on finishing up some work on my photo-a-day project from last year.  As I looked at all the photos and the stories I had written I was getting to re-experience some of the cool things I did last year.  I came to the conclusion that part of what made last year so cool and special was I had a lot of firsts – everything from getting both writing and a photograph published to driving to Vancouver to see a concert to trying a world of new food tastes as I explored vegetarianism part time.  When I look back on my journal for last year I realized that although I still had ups and downs over all what I had written was generally positive.  Through my journal I could also see how much I had discovered about myself, my thoughts and my beliefs which I contribute to the many experiences I had.  It just seemed to make sense that opening myself up to new adventures again would probably be a pretty good thing.

Thus the idea was born – 35 firsts before my 36^th birthday.  My small list of firsts that I started to create once I made the decision has all sorts of things on it from locations I would like to see but haven’t to things I want to do but haven’t done and even some foods that I want to try.  I want to grow and explore and learn as much as I can so I can continue to find my place in this world.  It is a desire that has been growing in me as I continue to lose weight.  I no longer want to be defined by how I look or the limitations I have so I guess it means I have to figure out just how I want to be defined.  So I will strive to push the boundaries of my box and my comfort zone but trying new things.

I have a feeling that the next year in my life is going to be the best one yet and I can’t wait to share it with everyone.