30 Pounds Down

Although I was not expecting anything good to come out of the weigh in this week I was pleasantly surprised and shocked to see that I was down 2.2 pounds bringing my total to 30.2. I'm always happy when my weight is down but there is something special when I hit a 10 pound goal. I always seem to struggle a bit when I'm coming up to a new 10 pound increment so maybe that is why I get so excited or maybe it's just that it seems like I'm actually making progress.

I do think that breaking my weight loss into 5 and 10 pound increments for goals has been incredibly helpful. It is a big enough difference that I have to push myself to get to the goal but it is not so daunting that I get discouraged. I guess it keeps me from thinking about how far I have to go. I know I have said before about not focusing on the weight as a measure of success but you know it still feels good when you start to see your total number lost go up.

For me every pound I can take off lets me feel that I'm getting closer and closer to everything I want. Don't get me wrong I don't think that I need to lose weight to be successful or to feel happy. I do however think that I need to lose weight to live the life I imagine for myself. So every pound that I lose pushes me one step closer to that image in my head. It allows me to become more active and to do the activities that I enjoy with out the struggle of doing it carrying the weight of 2 other people.

Last year when I turned 30 I knew that it was time to make a change. Now as my birthday is quickly approaching again I can look back on this year and be proud of the strides I have made. Next year when this time rolls around and i'm getting ready to turn 32 I know that I will have even more to be proud of. I will no longer look back on my year with regret or feel disappointed that I'm another year older. The reality is that every year I get stronger, smarter and more focused. I no longer think that getting older is a bad thing, it just means I have more experience to help push me further.

So with that I wish myself a Happy Birthday and will work hard not to let the birthday cake get the better of me for next week's weigh in :-)

Early Bday Celebrations

This weekend was a fun filled weekend of celebrating. I decided to celebrate my birthday early and so invited everyone to join me in rollerskating and a potluck. It turned out really well. Out of this weekend I did discover that not everything you once knew comes back like riding a bike. LOL. The last time I roller skated was probably 19 years ago. I remember racing around the rink, sure you fell down but you could go and it was easy. Now not so much. Skating was a challenge for me, but it was still just as much fun as it was when I was a kid. So I have a new plan...I'm going to get good at skating. It was an amazing work out (my legs still hurt today, two days later) and it was so much fun it would be easy to use it as a form of activity. Anyone else that is thinking about going roller skating here is my advice...

1. Work on your leg strength (mine was not so great so while skating my legs would shake and let me tell you this does not help with your balance)
2. Remember your sense of humor (god knows if you can't laugh at yourself you might as well not bother)
3. Don't pay any attention to anyone else, especially the little kids (it just makes you feel old and even more un-coordinated...hehehe)
4. Lastly remember to have fun because ultimately that is what it is all about.

These four little things do not only apply to rollerskating but really any activity that you take on...well at least the last three. Just because we are adults does not mean we have to stop having fun. I have spent so much of my life doing what is expected of me and what is the right thing. These are not always the fun things and I think I have finally realized that life is way more exciting and way more fun if I just do what I want.

I have a piece of butcher paper on the back of my bedroom door on which I write different quotes or ideas or goals. I was looking at it last night and one thing jumped out of me. Last year around my 30th birthday I wrote that my 20s were for growing up and figuring my life out and doing the things I need to do to survive. I vowed that my 30s would be different. My 30s are going to be about doing things for myself. Finding the happiness inside and doing the things that make me who I am. This last year has been a gradual push towards these ideas. I'm finally comfortable with who I am, I know what I want and now I am finally doing the steps I need to in order to get everything I have always wanted.

So many people I know right now our struggling with different things and I just want you all to remember that we only have one chance at life. Yes bad stuff happens but if you let it get to you more bad stuff will happen. I think negativity is an easier way to live. There is always bad stuff going on and around us. You can always find things you don't like and it's real easy to let negativity surround us. But I will tell you, and I have before, since I started to choose a more positive outlook things have been great. Yes I still have bad days (again because negativity is easy) but overall I am feeling great. I can have fun again without feeling guilty about it. Nothing is going to stop me anymore. I may not get everything I want tomorrow but I know that I will get everything I want in time. So let your inner child take over for a day or even an hour. Life will look brighter and even if you aren't lighter physically you will feel lighter mentally :-) Positivity is a choice so you just have to make the choice to be happy.

Decluttering and organizing

It is amazing how so many seemingly different things all have the same effect on a person. Since January I have been working hard on organizing my finances as well as making my weight loss a priority. This weekend I started the long process of decluttering my house and getting it looking good for my party next weekend, as well as giving me some extra space. As always when I'm doing random things my brain tends to wander and I started to realize that each of these three things are all sort of tied together, only I didn't really realize it until now.

Last year when I was 405 pounds I didn't care that the house was a mess. It was easier to ignore it then it was to clean it. The effort required to make my body bend and lift and move things around was to great and made the task of cleaning the house seem impossible. Although it was driving me nuts, I just put up with the clutter. At the same time it was easier to spend money then it was to save. Why save it when I could just buy another movie or more junk food or fast food (the three things I spent the majority of my money on before tracking). Those three things would let me feel better and escape reality a little.

So what changed? Well if I think about the timeline of my life in the last year it all starts with my weight loss. As soon as I started losing weight things like my debt and the clutter in my house started to frustrate me. It's hard to get excited about something like losing weight when everything else felt so crazy. It is also hard to keep making one part of you life better and change nothing else. So with the positive momentum of my weight loss it was time to turn my sites on my finances. With the help of the show 'From Debt do Us Part' I finally figured out how to make my money work. The first few weeks were a bit tough but then when i started seeing the difference in my debt and in my savings and chequing account. Those changes started to feel really positive as well. Again using the positive feelings of accomplishing other goals it became easier to start to think about making a difference in my surroundings. So I started cleaning at first just the basics, but now I'm in full on deep clean mode. I spent this weekend moving, rearranging and boxing stuff up. I'm getting more space and feeling great about it.

I guess what I'm trying to say with all of this is sometimes all it takes is one change to start the ball rolling on getting everything you want. I watch so many of my friends trying to change their lives all at once and wondering why they can't get it figured out and I think sometimes we just try to do too much at once. I know that has been my issue in the past. I don't know if it's right or wrong but it's working for me. Each step seems to lay itself at my feet when the time is right and I just keep going with it. The best part is the more positive stuff I let into my life the more positive my outlook becomes. Even when things are going wrong and seem really negative I can change it and frame it so that it does not effect me as much. For the first time in a long time I'm starting to feel like myself again.