My Reality, My Journey, My Story!: October 2016

Nan with her kids, Gwen, Jacquie, Chris, Geoff

Yesterday my family lost its matriarch. At 97 years old my Nan was the strongest, most amazing and beautiful woman I have ever known. I can’t believe that I will never hear her call me “Jilly Willy” or “her Willy” again. It’s hard to imagine that I will never have her remind me how I used to go around asking her to pull up my cars because she used to always tell me to pull up my trucks (pants). It is an end of an era and my heart is broken, as it is for my whole family. I wanted to take some time to remember her and honour her the best way I know how through my words and photos.

My Nan lived a spectacular life. At 97 years old she has lived through so many of the things I have spent years studying. It boggles the mind when you start thinking about all the ways life has changed during her lifetime. Think about the way we talk and communicate with people. Now we just pull our phones out of our pocket and send a text and can connect with someone instantly. We can also dial that same phone and hear their voice. Distance doesn’t matter. You can connect to your family where ever they are fairly quickly. When she was growing up and moved to Canada this wouldn’t have been the case. Long distance communication could have only really been done by letters which would take weeks or months to arrive. Another one that always blows me away when I think about the changes she has seen is travel. When she moved to Canada she had to take a boat and a train and it took many days. Now we can fly to England in a matter of hours. Some of my favourite memories of Nan are when it was just she and I and we would talk about these changes. She would tell me stories about growing up and even what Calgary was like when she first moved here all over tea. As intriguing as these changes are to me and how much it amazes me to think about the things she saw in her nearly a hundred years on earth what is more important though is the life she led, which was equally amazing.

She was born in England and moved to Canada after World War II. She had four children, my Aunts Gwen and Jacquie, my Uncle Geoff and of course my mom, Chris. Her children have gone forth and created an even bigger extended family. I’m hoping that my counts and numbers are right, but hopefully family reading this will understand if they are wrong. By my count Nan has ended up with 10 grandkids, 12 great grandkids, 3 great great grandkids with another on the way. So without Nan our world would be short 30 people, including myself. That is pretty darned impressive. It also means there are a lot of broken hearts now mourning her passing.

I think my Nan was also one of the bravest people I know. She met my granddad during the second world war when he was over in England with the Canadian army. They met on a train. Granddad convinced her to go out with him (and she even stood up another guy to meet him for that date). Falling in love with him and marrying him meant she joined many other women and became a war bride. After the war was over she moved across the world with two small children in tow by herself. It meant a long boat ride and then a trip on a train across Canada before she arrived in Calgary where my Granddad was waiting for her. She would have had to make new friends and create a whole life for herself, which of course she did in droves. I can only imagine how hard it must have been to be away from her own family as she was trying to raise hers. To move away not knowing when or if you would be able to come back shows amazing courage and faith. It impresses me so much mostly because I can’t imagine ever putting myself in that position.

Another one of the qualities I most admired in my Nan is her independence. She lost my granddad nearly 30 years ago but that didn’t seem to slow her down any. She continued to live in the same house by herself right up to the very end. Not only was she living on her own but she was also still gardening which was one of the things she loved right up to the end as well. She lived her life on her terms and that is pretty special. I feel that I got my independent streak from her. When I think of all the things she did on her own it makes me feel like I can do anything. Her blood runs through me. If she could do it then so can I. She was an amazing role model for living life the way you want to.

I could write pages on all the things I loved about my Nan. I also could write even more pages on the memories I have. As hard as the last few days have been it has also been wonderful taking the time to really remember all the things that I shared with her and that our family shared because of her. Many of my memories are probably universal across our whole family, like spending time with her around her little living room sharing tea and cookies. But as I move forward processing this huge loss in my life there is an image that I am holding in my heart, an image that I know I share with all of the family, it is the image of her standing at her front window with the curtain drawn back waving to me as I drove away. It’s a simple image but one that I have known all my life. She has always done it. Well now it’s our time to wave goodbye to her as she drives away. I don’t know how long we will be separated for but I know at some point she will welcome us back. In the meantime she will be making heaven beautiful with her new English garden.

Thank you Nan for all you have given me. Thank you for the love and support you have always shown. Thank you for being an amazing role model. Thank you for all the memories, stories and moments we have shared. You have a piece of my heart. Keep it safe for me until we meet again.