What would you do?

It is the last weekend before I throw myself into Camp Nanowrimo and I feel obligated to write a blog entry because I’m not confident that I will have the time to write one once I get working on my story, although I will try my best. The problem is that I have nothing really to write about this week.

So with nothing exciting going on I will pose the question that I found myself contemplating this week. If your house was on fire what would you try to save? I have no clue why this was on my brain but it was. So here is my top 5 list (it is assuming that all the people in my life are safe and or can fend for themselves). They are in the order that I would grab them as well.

1. My cats – because it would kill me if they didn’t get out.
2. My Will email binders – because I have no way to replace those if I lose them (which reminds me I really should work on scanning them in so I can have a backup…hmm).
3. My external hard drives – because one has all my photos and the other has all my writing
4. My purse –because it always has the important stuff in it (id, cell, ect)
5. My Paul Brandt and Calgary Expo scrapbooks – ok its two items but I love them both and they contain once in a lifetime experiences and really if I have time to grab one they are side by side on my shelf so I could grab both.

What would you grab?

I also thought I would share this funny comic I found. It made me laugh a little, mostly because today was a crappy weigh in (but it always is once a month…LOL).

Trying to Fight the Rusty Feeling

I have been slowly working my way back into my writing. I have started a new novel that I’m super excited about and have been trying hard to post regularly on my blog, but sadly I’m still feeling very rusty after my hiatus from writing. In spite of that rusty feeling though I have been enjoying putting pen to paper again and it is helping bring me a great deal of gratification.

With that in mind I have decided it is time to really push myself with my writing to see if I can’t try to work through the rusty feeling once and for all. I’m also hoping to rediscover some of my lost confidence in my writing skills. To do this I found a challenge for next month. I have joined Camp Nanowrimo. Nanowrimo is a challenge that some of my writing friends have talked about where you take the month of November and write 50000 words. Well this year they did a summer challenge in June and are doing another in August. I can’t think of a better way to challenge myself then to just throw myself in feet first and see what comes out on the other side.



I will admit that the idea of 50000 words scares the crap out of me. I have never written anything that long. I have started projects that probably could have become that long but I have never actually gotten to the point of finishing any of them. The closest I have probably come is one of my “questionable” stories that I posted online back in my university days, when I had a lot more free time for writing. How do I go from this fear to actually producing something? Well I am a little bit of a perfectionist (yah I know shocking, right?) and I’m hoping that my need to be perfect and do the things I say I will is just what I need to keep me going in August to reach the 50000 word goal. I can be pretty determined when I want to and not to mention a wee bit stubborn. They may not be the best qualities to have but I am confident they are just the qualities I need to get me to 50000 words by the end of August. It will also help, I’m sure, that I have three days already planned for just writing out in Rosebud, Alberta.

Besides the word count the only other thing I’m worried about is the idea that I want to work with is actually the last story idea I ever shared with Will. It is a story that I have had in my mind for a very long time but one that I’m worried about writing because of its connections to Will. One of the main characters was one that I created to be like him. I’m counting on the fact that it will be cathartic to write the character to help. I also can’t help but think because the challenge is happening in August, which is also when I will be faced with the anniversary of his death, that it seems like good timing in a weird way. It is a story that I think deserves to be written and this is a good opportunity to do it. I mean really it’s not the characters fault that my life changed last August. hehehe

Anyway wish me luck and cheer me on. I’ll keep you all posted throughout next month.

Thank You Paul Brandt!

I have met a growing number of famous people, some of which I have even met more than once, but none have ever left me feeling as good about myself, or smiling for quite so long after as the meetings I have had with Paul Brandt. On Friday I was lucky enough to get to meet him again, for the third time, down on the stampede grounds. What I wasn’t expecting was how amazing I was going to feel after talking with him. I spent the rest of the night and most of Saturday with a smile that wouldn’t quit. I was floating and it felt amazing.

I suppose I should probably start at the beginning and give a little context and perspective to why this meeting meant so much and give you a little background so you can understand why I wanted to write this blog entry. I grew up listening to country and one of the first concerts my mom ever took me to was a Paul Brandt concert. He was young and cute, I was 16 or 17 and boy crazy (I know shocking) and I developed a huge crush on him. I remember many times while babysitting for my nieces and nephew I would spend hours trying to catch his videos on CMT because my sister had cable and we didn’t. I loved the video for “My Heart Has a History”. It was upbeat and fun and there was this good looking guy in a cowboy hat all over it, how could a teenager not be drawn in. Between that smile, his eyes, the long hair (I have always loved longer hair) and the voice I was totally smitten. I couldn’t get enough of his music and played his first cd over and over, memorizing every word.

From that first album and my crush not much has changed to now. I still think he is crush worthy and cute. I have loved every album and each concert that I have seen. What has changed though over the years as I have grown is that now the songs mean more to me. I don’t tend to listen to country as much anymore but there are still times where country feels like a warm blanket on a cold night. I will admit that after Will passed away I turned to my country music and top of my mp3 player list was Paul Brandt’s newest album, Give it Away, which had just come out only a few weeks after I lost Will (it truly was perfect timing for me). The first time I listened to it through and I hit the song, “Together Again”, all the emotion I had been struggling with dropped me as I heard Paul’s lyrics. It was saying exactly what was going on in my brain and made me feel a little better. If someone could sing about it then I must not be going crazy. Even now nearly a year after Will’s death that song still reminds me of Will and what it felt like just a few months ago, although now different lyrics from it ring true. It is the lyrics of his songs that have kept me following him and buying each album as they come out even as I have gone away from listening to country. His lyrics tell amazing stories and no matter what mood I’m in I can always find something in Paul’s music to suit it.

I have a great deal of respect for Paul Brandt and it does go beyond the above gushing. I always hear how active he is with his different charity projects and anytime I say that I’m going to see him or have met him there is always someone that has a story of a chance meeting with him. They all say the same thing, how great he is and how nice he is. So in December after his concert in Calgary when I got to meet him for the first time I wasn’t surprised at how nice he was (ok I was a little surprised because part of me didn’t really buy into all the stories). Although he was well past the time he was going to spend doing autographs he kept pushing through and although it was rushed he still made a huge impression on me. It proved to me that my respect for him wasn’t out of place and that all the things I had heard other people say were true. I was my normal shy self (I can already hear you all saying I’m not shy…but I really truly am so hush) and was looking down and he actually dipped his head down to catch my attention and bring my gaze up to his so he could talk to me. He asked if I had enjoyed his show and thanked me for coming. I was very excited and a little speechless. I walked away from that meeting feeling so very happy. It was actually the first time I felt almost normal again (I was still very much struggling at that point with my grief). After that meeting I could understand why he has such a devoted following of fans, because he really does seem to treasure and respects us as much as we do him. I mean just the fact he is willing to take the time to meet people after his concerts demonstrates that. I don’t know many stars, that are as famous as he is, that are willing do that. It keeps us all loving him, how could we not?

So when I got a tweet on Thursday night saying he was going to be meeting people down on the grounds on Friday I got excited. It was a happy coincidence that he was going to be there meeting fans when I was already heading down to go see Johnny Reid that night. It also gave me a good excuse to leave work early, which is never a bad thing on a Friday. I was also hoping that maybe this time I would be able to say thank you to him and say some of the things I have wanted to both in December and in March (in Lethbridge). I grabbed the scrapbook I had created and the Century program and brought them both with me. (It took me all day to decide that it was the scrapbook I actually wanted him to sign). I got to the grounds early and planted myself by the dream home and started chatting with a couple other girls who were also there to meet him. Being early paid off and left me excited when I was third in line to meet him, which never happens I’m always near the end. When it was my turn I handed him by scrapbook thinking he would open it up and sign the front cover and be done with it but he actually took the time to flip through the whole book. He made a few comments and said he liked it. He also thanked me for sharing it with him, which blew my mind, because really I was there to get it signed I was the one that should be saying thank you.

For the couple minutes he was talking to me and looking at something I created I felt completely special. I felt like it was only me and him on the grounds (which is saying something when you consider how many people were around, including a photographer from the Calgary Herald). I know it’s crazy but it is one of the great things about him. I have no doubt that everyone that meets him for an autograph or photo feels the same way and that is one of the things that makes him so very cool. I think it shows how grounded and genuine he is.

Another one of the coolest things about this particular meeting, which I didn’t expect, was as I was standing there I could hear a few stray voices from people talking about me. This is not unusual but instead of the normal disparaging comments I usually hear when I’m surrounding by people, they were talking about how cool my book was. It was all positive and to be at the center of that much positivity and excitement pushed my enthusiasm for this meeting over the top. It’s pretty cool to get recognition for something you have put your heart into and hear that other people love it too and that was what was happening. It was a totally new experience for me.

As I end this entry I just want to say some of the things I always wish my brain would let me say when I meet Paul. Who knows with a little luck he will read this but at the very least I will know I have sent it out into the world.

Dear Paul,
Thank you for all that you do for your fans. Thank you for the songs you write and the performances you do. Thank you for writing Together Again, it really truly has helped more than I can express in this last year. Thank you for making me feel special when I have gotten to talk to you, it is rare for me and a very cherished feeling. Most of all thank you for being such a good guy. Sometimes it seems the world is lacking in really good people but it is great to know that there are still a few people out there trying to make the world a better place. I have loved every concert I have seen and love that you have given me so many songs that can lift me up when I’m feeling down. I hope that you will always find joy in what you do and that you will continue to do it for a long time. I know I’m only one of many but I will be a fan forever and can’t wait to see you perform again. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.


For the friends that are reading this and don’t know who Paul Brandt is or haven’t heard his music please check him out at www.paulbrandt.com. I promise you it is worth the time.

Here are also some of the photos from the Calgary Stampede grandstand show, Century, and from my meeting with him. (notice the big giant excited grin on my face…hehehe I can’t be cool no matter how hard I try)

The coolest moment of my life to this point.

An amazing show and a great way to say Happy Birthday to the Stampede.

Always so full of energy,

Even in the rain!

Panicked and Excited!

Have you ever had one of those moments where you realize that either your dreams could start to come true or you might find out that you really have no clue and should consider finding another dream? I will admit that I’m currently experiencing this. I wanted to share because I’m really more excited than panicked.

One of my best friends asked me this week if I would be willing to guest write some book reviews for the new blog she is getting ready to launch. I guess I should probably start at the beginning and explain a little why this is such a big deal to me. Catherine and I met in university probably about 15 years ago give or take a year. We had a handful of classes together and I got along with her right away. Every time we got together we chatted a lot about writing (as well as many other things) and I always left feeling motivated and full of ideas. Her enthusiasm for writing rubs off and you just want to go home and pick up a pen. This has not changed over the years and in fact when I’m done writing my current novel she will get a big thank you on the front page (if and when it gets published) because bouncing ideas off of her has been a godsend in getting my story to be a little more concrete and possible. She has helped me take a small idea and turn it into something that I think will be really cool. I have always admired her. She has stuck true to writing and works hard at it. She also has had jobs that have kept her way more involved in the book world than me. I always feel like I have sold out by getting a job in healthcare, sure it pays the bills but it is a far cry from anything creative. It adds a level of envy to my relationship with Catherine, but only in a good way.

When Catherine asked me to write for her blog it blew me away. Someone that I adore and respect actually thinks enough of me and my skills to invite me to put something on her page. It’s a scary moment because although I’m super excited, I’m also super terrified that my writing won’t be as good as she expects and that it will bring down her blog. I know it’s crazy and really not rational because really I’m going to probably write the best piece I can possibly do for her. But when I’m still feeling very rusty about my writing skills it is a daunting challenge.

So while I continue to work hard on my fiction and my own blog I guess now I shall take on a new challenge - that of writing some book reviews. When her site launches and my review is posted I will let you know. The first book that I’m going to be writing about is the latest craze, Fifty Shades of Grey. I look forward to sharing my opinions on it since it’s all everyone seems to be talking about anyway.

Stampede in Pictures

The 100^th birthday of the Calgary Stampede has been wonderful.  I don’t think I have ever had so much fun during Stampede before.  My first rodeo and grandstand show were amazing (Paul Brandt was brilliant) and well I already wrote about my parade day.  I don’t think my words can do justice to just how cool everything has been so I will now let my photos do the talking for me.  Enjoy. 

Parade Day

Jana, Jeff, Kaitlyn and Becca (and of course me :-)

Becca's first Parade and doesn't she look stylish!

The Virgin Morning Show (photo not mine but stolen from Virgin Morning Shows facebook page - thanks guys)  Danaye, Adam (the first of many cowboy hats to distract me) and Fuzzy!  Best morning show ever.  Much love to you all :-)

The history buff in me purrs at the sight of a tank and the boy crazy side jumps for joy at boys in uniform.  I love the Stampede!

Down at the Grounds - Sunday July 8th

If I could I would so be on that zip line!

My favourite midway prize this year.

Nothing like a cold beer after a hot day on the grounds.

Waiting for the rodeo to start.  Thank god for sunscreen!

My favourite photo of all the ones I took at the rodeo.  Flying!!!!

O Canada!  A very cool addition to the singing of the anthem at the evening show.

Racing to the finish line.

 Simply stunning

Incredibly beautiful and awe inspiring.

Another cowboy hat to distract me.  It must be so thrilling to get to perform each night.  You could feel the excitement in the air.

Stunning!

I totally want the blinged out truck.

Happy Birthday Calgary Stampede!

How to Amuse and Distract Your Tired Brain

It’s that time a year again. Stampede has invaded my fair city for its 100th year and all the guys are coming out in their damned cowboy hats. I’m not sure what it is about a cowboy hat that just makes me smile but it does. In fact I spent most of my day today daydreaming and it was all because of a cowboy hat worn yesterday. Guys I wouldn’t normally notice or pay any attention to become cute and the erotica writer and boy crazy version of me starts to take over my brain. Of course it probably doesn’t help that I spent last weekend reading the Fifty Shades of Grey books (which for the record I loved).

Anyway yesterday morning I got up at the 2:45am, after only sleeping for about 5 hours, and went to go pick up Jeff to take him to save seats for myself, Jana and their girls at the parade. We find a spot and I drop him off before heading back home to take my car back before hoping the bus to join him again to wait for the Jana to come with the kids and for the parade to start. When I arrive back I find out that we are basically right across the street from the booth the Virgin Morning Show has set up to broadcast from. I don’t really listen to the radio but every morning the morning show are on my radio and often I listen to them on my mp3 player when I get to work. Anyway I was excited to be across from them just because I always think it’s kind of cool to be around people that I would consider to be famous-ish. (I’m easily star struck I guess is probably the best way to put it…not that it’s a good thing but at least I can always promise I will be excited and over the moon when I meet people)

Well apparently somewhere in my tired brain my normal good sense got turned off and when one of the morning show guys put on his cowboy hat I decided to send a text to the radio station. What follows is the texts with my reactions added in. (Again remember all of this is happening at like 6am, with me being tired, and a wee bit boy crazy/star struck)

          Me: Adam cowboy hats suite you :) yeehaw!!!!!! (totally my attempt at being flirty, even if it is probably more stalker than flirty)
          Adam: Hahahaha who is this and where are ya??? (OMG he texted back he wasn’t supposed to do that…oh shit now what)
          Me: My name is Jill and we are across from you
          Adam: Directly??? Wave! (At this point I start blushing and debating between dropping it, waving or just running away. I hate being noticed although there is a part of me that loves being noticed – I know walking contradiction – I look over and notice they are scanning and trying to find me. Instead of waving I just text back)
          Me: To your left. Big girl next to guy in pink blanket lol

At this point Adam and Danaye look over find me and wave at me so Jeff and I wave back. I’m pretty sure I was completely bright red at that point but across the street I’m sure they just saw me giggling. A little while later I even got a mention on the radio followed by another wave. It’s silly I know but it totally made the day for me. I felt special for a couple seconds and the good feelings have stayed with me all of yesterday and carried over to today. Small things can make a big difference I guess so thank you to the Morning Show for making me smile and responding to my silly text.

To everyone else if you are in Calgary I hope you all have a wonderful and fun Stampede. I’m excited because for the first time in my entire life I’m going to see the rodeo and the grandstand show tomorrow. Of course the best part about at least the grandstand show, will be seeing Paul Brandt (one of my favourite country singers) performing again. The boy crazy side of me is a singing merrily away this week.

Happy Canada Day

Ok I guess technically Canada Day is over but I have had a hard time writing this blog entry.  My first version of this entry was a little too personal.  I'm not quite ready to share what I wrote so I will leave this entry short. 

I'm very happy and excited to report that I'm finally back to my original starting weight.  After a couple weeks of hard work changing my habits again I have started the process of losing the weight I gained back after Will passed away.  And now that I'm back at my original starting weight I can start back on my goal of losing 250 pounds.  I'll keep you all posted.

I'm feeling really great.  And as each week passes by I'm surprised at how I'm feeling more and more like my true self.  It is a very exciting time for me.